Hello friends, here we are again with another episode of
Bachelor In Paradise, or as it should be called, Why The Human Race Is In
Trouble. As of now, there hasn’t been a single person that has disproven
anything I’ve said on my first blog post on the show about why they were still
single. That’s ok though, I like being right.
We jump right into the episode in the middle of a cocktail
party. The guys are giving out the roses and the girls on the chopping block
are worried. Worried about world peace? Worried about relatives’ health? Nope,
they are worried about if the wildcard Canadian Daniel will give them the rose.
You see, at this point, almost everyone was coupled up except for him. So the 3
girls not coupled up, Sarah, the twins, and Ashley were vying for his rose.
(Yes, I’m aware the twins are 2 people, but in terms of needing to get a rose,
they only count as one.) Sarah, worried that her eggs are dying with every new
Daniel-ism becomes desperate enough to bake him a half-birthday cake to get his
rose. You read that correctly, not a birthday cake, but a half-birthday cake.
What’s next? A half engagement ring for being in a half-sided relationship?
Also, looking at Daniel’s body; does he even know what cake tastes like? He
sure doesn’t look like he eats it, unless it’s a part of his protein shakes.
Daniel, being like most 20 year old men in the world,
decides the twin fantasy is just too enticing for him and gives his rose to
those two. Sarah leaves crying about how she can’t find love. Ashley,
supposedly, reaches an epiphany where she realizes she should have looked at
other guys not named Jared. So she comes back and asks the other contestants if
she can have another chance. Or, in other words, producers knew she’d be TV
gold and told the other contestants to let her have another chance. Either way,
she’s back.
And…. We don’t even go a day before Ashley breaks the “I’m
over Jared” promise she made to everyone else. She still holds on to some hope
of them being together. I hold out hope that my fast forward button works.
Neither of us were the winners in this. Speaking of me losing, the next three
guys to enter the house were so dull. Carl, Brett, and Ryan all enter Paradise
this week and they are so underwhelming. None of these guys I would rate above
a 6, yet there are girls fawning over them. Emily thinks Carl is the hottest
thing ever, and Caila even considers going on a date with Brett when she already
has Jared. We’ll get to Izzy’s stupidity later.
Brett asks Caila on the date and in the most convoluted way
possible, she agrees. My friend (shoutout to Annelise) was watching the episode
with me and we were both flabbergasted as to why she’d go on a date with Brett
when she had Jared. Jared. Like the most perfect guy in paradise, Jared. What’s
worst is that before the date, Jared says he doesn’t want her to go because he
wants to be exclusive. But, Caila goes anyway. I don’t know about you, but to
me that’s a hint that Caila is not nearly as into Jared as she tries to act
like she is. If she wasn’t into him enough to be exclusive, then she certainly
shouldn’t have dated him when she knew her “friend” still had feelings for him.
It makes her look pretty bad as a person.
Carl asks Emily out and it becomes a double date between them
and Brett/Caila. It’s basically an orgy on a boat and I think my eyes were
covered like 90 percent of the date. The only thing I got from it was that
Caila didn’t end up feeling Brett and came back to the house begging Jared to
forgive her. Even after moping all day, Jared takes her back. I cringe because
at this point, I just don’t buy her as being into Jared. The bubbly, always happy,
persona seems fake on her, and as I pointed out earlier, if she really liked
Jared, she would never have gone on a date with Brett. That’s not how girls
work.
Other noticeable things in this episode: Grant told Lace he
loved her after only knowing her about 1 and a half weeks in real time. Yep, that’s
not at all rushed. Daniel was also apparently being super clingy with Haley,
one of the twins. Yet again, not a surprise. Daniel has already told the camera
about his virgin fantasies with Ashley I., it wouldn’t surprise me if he had a
thing for twins too.
The episode ends with its most explosive part. When Brett arrived, Izzy basically got a huge
lady boner, and even though she was in an exclusive relationship with Vinny,
she wanted Brett. So on national television, she reveals just how immature she
is, by throwing away a relationship she admits was going “great” so that she
could potentially shack up with a “hot” guy (even though Brett is sooo not hot,
ugh). Vinny is rightfully pissed and wants to confront her about why she thinks
this is even remotely a good idea. And that’s where the episode ends. Join me tomorrow
for a blog post about the final part of this week’s Bachelor In Paradise
episodes.
No comments:
Post a Comment