Wednesday, August 10, 2016

BIP Recap "History Strikes Back"

       Boy oh boy, do I have a lot to get to in this episode. Due to work that needed to get done yesterday, I was unable to write a recap for Monday’s episode. So, surprise! This recap will cover both episodes. Have whatever you are  drinking ready, because these two episodes were a doozy.
       So we start the recap where the show last left off, Chad being forced out of Paradise for his drunken antics. He had been apparently belligerent to everyone on the show and apparently people were scared of him. Within five seconds of dismissal, Chad quickly realizes how this is going to look like and goes into a tirade over how he was set up. Sure, Chad. You likely were set up. But guess what, put your big boy panties on and realize you shouldn’t drink to the point where you black out. You did this to yourself.
      After Chad’s departure, Lace realizes that she might be screwed for the upcoming rose ceremony. Who would want Chad’s leftovers? Well apparently, Grant does. Even against Vinny’s advice, he immediately goes to Lace to comfort her. Lace thinks he is sweet, I think he is whipped and not in any positive way. 
This is Leah before
This is Leah after
         Low and behold we get another arrival in paradise, Leah. The big story with her is about how she has returned to the show with a brand new face. I am not kidding, her lips look like she went to her plastic surgeon and asked for the Kylie Jenner special. Even the twins, who are not “natural” beauties call her out for the plastic surgery overdo. To add to the train-wreckness of it all, she had come hoping to date Chad. Strike two. What self-respecting woman goes on the show to date Chad?  He’s gone so she goes for Nick instead. Little does she know he already handed his balls in a jar to Amanda.
          They go on a date where all they do is drink. Excellent, less inhibitions means the producers can convince them to kiss, so there is at least one millionth of a doubt as to if he’d pick her over Amanda. Really? When your trailers show that Amanda obviously made it to when Josh was here, this whole segment was pretty pointless. Leah was doomed.
             It doesn’t take long for her to realize that either as we get to the rose ceremony. Nick, in the most diplomatic way possible, told her he wanted Amanda. What he was saying inside was: “Please get this girl away from me. Dear Lord, I’d rather be a runner up for the 3rd time on this show. Is that even possible? I don’t care I’d do it.”
           Leah, thinking she is god’s gift to plastic surgeons, cross that out, men, decides she will then get Daniel to give her a rose. They then proceed to have a conversation about whether she is an onion or orange. It makes me start to think about which one would be better to throw at the tv. I decide to go with the fast forward button instead.
         So the rose ceremony concludes, and Leah and Jubilee are sent home. Jared chose the twins over Jubilee. I’m not surprised, as I said, I didn’t think they had chemistry, but I do like Jubilee. The fact that she is probably too smart to do the show again makes me sad. I always like the only intelligent contestant of a cast.
           I might be getting things out of order,  but I’d like to save the Josh stuff for last, so we are going to deal with everything else first. Also, I just want to get Carly and Evan out of the way because ick! I’m not an Evan fan, but Carly out bitched even herself on this one. Its okay to say you aren’t attracted to the guy, its ok to dump him. But to spend what felt like half an hour describing in graphic detail on how the erectile dysfunction expert gives you erectile dysfunction is uncalled for. Imagine how he’d feel watching that now? I can get snarky on this blog, but I do try to avoid going cruel, and that’s what Carly did. 
             In news about a girl that I hate less, Sarah is asked out on a date by new arrival Christian. Both of them are so vanilla, the Ben and Jerry's I was eating was put to shame. Have we ever seen such a G rated and boring date between two people on this show? Also, for Sarah calling Christian hot as many times as she did, her body language didn’t suggest that she thought that. Even Disney princesses kiss more risque than that.
        
           Daniel, not seeing what I see, is still jealous that Sarah went out on a date with another guy. So he arranges for a date with her for when she gets back. She’s taken aback by how “sweet” the gesture was. Yet again, this was another case where I’m just not buying it with her. I don’t think that she is really into either of them. And I think Daniel is playing up his interest in her until another girl comes in that he likes better.
      
            Now, onto the main focus of the episode… no, literally, it probably took up over 50 percent of the airtime. Chad would be jealous. Josh Murray, winner of Andi’s season, comes to Paradise. In a repeat of Andi’s season, Josh and Nick both like Amanda, but she chooses Josh. Or at least that’s what the edit would have you believe. Josh is then vilified. While I agree that Josh was a douchebag, I find it also important to say that it was obvious the full story wasn’t being shown. I know a lot of my readers don’t know spoilers or anything behind the scenes so I thought I’d share an interesting tidbit. This next fact has been said not only by Josh and Amanda, but confirmed by RealitySteve, whose job is to spoil the show. Nick isn’t the poor victim in this scenario. After he gave Amanda his rose, he apparently told her that they shouldn’t be exclusive because his original reason for coming onto the show was for a girl who hasn’t arrived yet. Now, that’s pretty much dumping a girl. I don’t care how interested he pretended to be in Amanda, but if he really liked her, he wouldn’t have kept his options open for the other girl. Josh didn’t steal Nick’s girl again because Nick had basically said she wasn’t to her face. Was the constant making out by Josh and Amanda gross? Yes. Was Josh still overly angry and rude? Yes. But were they in the wrong for getting together? No. Josh was interested and Nick had basically told Amanda he wasn’t.


        We end the episode with Evan deciding that since Carly doesn’t want him, he’d try to get with Amanda. I don’t know what drugs producers gave him to make him think he had a chance. But, we’ll see the inevitable fallout from his actions next episode.

        Hope you enjoyed this blog!




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