BIP Recap "Will the torture ever end?"

   It feels like forever since my last Bachelor In Paradise recap. Since then, school has started and I’ve been swarmed in a bunch of new responsibilities and tasks to complete. But, through all of this change, there has been one constant I’ve been able to hold on to. No , it’s not that my pets are perfect. They are, but that’s another story. The one constant that gets me through the day is that no matter how stupid I may act, the cast of Bachelor In Paradise will always have me beat. I think that’s pretty inspirational to me.  So with that being said, let’s dive into the episode.

  We start the episode off showing the remains of the Caila and Ashley fight. In all honesty, I’m getting tired of seeing both of them. I don’t think either of them have handled the situation well at all and seeing the same fights and same conversations every episode is grating.  Ashley is being immature as we’ll get out, but you can’t ignore the very intentional digs Caila sent her way throughout the entire conversation. Both girls were trying to put the other in their place and it was just frustrating to watch. 

    Thankfully, they cut the drama off enough for a new arrival. Wells. I am stoked. He was really funny to watch on JoJo’s season, and hopefully he gets Ashley off the crying over Jared train eventually. The show goes into a funny montage of Ashley praying to her dead dog for Wells to ask her out, while producers pan to a bunch of random dog footage. Even the other contestants want Wells to pick her, with every single person telling him to. Now, if I were Wells that might have scared me a bit. I’d ask why everyone seemed so desperate for me to pick her. But, I’m not Wells, and he asks her on the date. Everyone in the house roars in triumph and applause which should have been yet another red flag for Wells. Yet again, no one should be caring that much. She’s either Mother Theresa or they really want her gone. And do you really think someone who worships Kim Kardashian is Mother Theresa?

    The date happens where the two basically walk around Mexico and eat tacos. It’s nothing huge, but I guess they are cute together. Then again, I’d find Ashley cute with Charles Manson if it got her to stop crying over Jared. But, their date was hardly the highlight of the episode. What the producers focused on was the drama.

   The first couple to fall victim to it was Grant and Lace. Lace, still being an insecure train wreck, started flirting with Carl right in front of him. Yet, she had the nerve to get mad when Grant walked away. I don’t know. I’m in a pickle here. As much as I want to lay into her, the more I watch Lace, the more I worry that she has a lot of deep rooted emotional issues that might require help. And I don’t think that’s appropriate to make fun of, so I’m just going to end this with the fact that the two reconcile.

   The second half of the episode is basically devoted to Josh vs. Nick. The first time they fight is over sleeping in a bed. No, I didn’t type this wrong. They argued over which couple would sleep in the big bed in the room to themselves. Originally, Josh and Amanda were going to sleep there. But, Amanda was tired so she told Nick and Jen that they could have it(because I’m guessing sleeping isn’t what happens most in that private bed). The kicker is, that Amanda didn’t tell Josh this. So when Nick and Jen are about to enter that room, Josh marks his territory and tells them they can’t have it. Cue all of the confusion and tension until Josh wakes up Amanda to figure out what happened. Basically, this all scene made Josh look like a 10 year old boy who has never been told no. I’m not saying that’s what he is like, but it’s pretty immature to be this invested in whether you are sleeping in a certain bed. 

  Naturally, this another thing Nick adds to his growing complaints about Josh. It aggravates him to the point that when the twins ask about Josh/Amanda, he spills out all that he thinks. Mainly, that he finds it convenient that Josh came on the show right after a bad book about him was realized. He also adds it’s suspicious that with that, he immediately went after the single mother (the kind of woman you’d go after if you are trying to win America over). I totally agree with him on the first point, the timing is weird. However, I’m not sure I buy the second. I’d argue that when Josh came in, Amanda was the hottest girl in the house. There’d be too many reasons he’d pick Amanda for me to say that her reputation was solely the reason.

   You’d think that this conversation wouldn’t go anywhere, but then you’d be wrong. At the rose ceremony, the twins decide that they don’t like any of the guys and want to leave the show. This led to 2 things. 1.) Daniel, Ryan, and Carl are all eliminated. 2.) The twins decide to pull Amanda aside to chat before they leave. The twins immediately turn into a crying mess and tell Amanda again that Josh is coming off like a bad guy and to be careful. Amanda starts crying and eventually tells Josh what was said. This makes Josh mad. Like hulk level mad. He goes off on every person in Paradise about how no one should talk behind his back, and basically threatens Nick that he better hope this doesn’t ruin his relationship with Amanda. I think Josh is coming off with even more anger issues than Chad. #ThingsINeverThoughtIWouldSay

    Amanda takes the predictable route and chooses to stay with Josh. She says that she knows him and that no one has been able to give her concrete proof on what he has done. But, here’s the thing. When Evan tells you something, yes ask for details, because he could have an ulterior motive for saying it. When Nick does it, same thing. But when your proclaimed best friends do it, now you need to believe it. That many people in such a small group can’t be wrong. I’m sorry, they can’t. Amanda justifies this by saying she has a good judge of character. But, didn’t she marry a guy who basically abandoned her and her kids? No, Amanda, when you are in love, you don’t have a good judge of character. 

    You’d think they’d end the episode on that high note, but it keeps on going, like a 3 year old child that you just want to shut up. Jami enters Paradise and immediately asks Wells out. He says yes. Everyone is worried about how Ashley will react, and to her credit she initially takes it well. If only the rest of the episode hadn’t happened…..

   The episode ends for the second time in a row on an Ashley/Caila fight with Caila deciding that she will leave paradise. I will say for that particular moment, I felt slightly sorry for Caila. She hadn’t brought up Jared this time and seemed to try to avoid the conversation. Leaving was probably the smartest option. I’m still not sold on her as a person though, because it seems no one, outside of Jared, has anything good to say about her. Either way, I’m just excited for tonight’s episode to end just so that the Jared/Caila/Ashley saga is over. Selfishly, I hope neither of the girls comes back on tv for a long time. I can tolerate Jared because at least he is attractive.

   With that being said, sorry for the long recap. There was a lot to talk about.  I hope you all have a wonderful day and join me in a toast celebrating the exit of repetitive drama. Cheers!

BB18 Recap "Will Karma Be A B?"

     Welcome back everyone to another blog recap of Big Brother! And a very special welcome back goes to Victor for making history as being the first houseguest to return to the game twice! Can I just quickly say thank god?! Anyone else coming back would have been a monumental disappointment. My thoughts go out to Paulie as he is doomed to spend the rest of the summer with girls in jury that hate him. That will be rough. Sucks to suck. You know what else sucks? When your fire alarm decides it wants to be changed at 3:30 in the morning. Yep, that was my life this morning. So if this blog sounds a little discombobulated, that is why.

      As, I’ve already alluded to, the episode started with the joint HOH/jury buyback competition. But during the competition, the show flashes back to a moment that happened a few hours before the live show. Paul decided to instigate a fight with James, Natalie, and Michelle in an attempt to make them paranoid enough to save Victor. It didn’t work, but what it did accomplish was even better. It made Natalie admit out loud and on public that she would have wanted Victor to stay. She said this IN FULL EARSHOT of Corey and Nicole. So consider that final 4 dunzo, all because Paul instigated this fight. Major props to him for cementing himself better in the house when he seemed guaranteed to go this week.

   Now back to the competition, it was the fairly standard wall competition. People hold on to a bar and try to remain standing until everyone else has dropped. Victor wins to come back in, and Nicole guilt trips James into giving her the HOH. Man! How beautiful would it be if James were evicted after he was promised safety in a competition like this? It’s not like he hasn’t done that to other people…….

                                 So the You Suck competition of the award goes to…

Davonne and Zakiyah!

   That’s right, double the award for double the being pathetic. Both of them flat out quit because they couldn’t take it anymore. And then they cry about not being able to do it. But, here’s the thing. This comp is ALL willpower. If you want to stay on, you most likely will. It might be harder for some than others, but if you want to, you outlast many people. So, both are pretty pathetic for their holding hands and jumping off motion. 

After the HOH, only a few key things happened.

11.)    Natalie cried because she realized Nicorey would keep James over her. Like really? James, get a clue, she is not interested in you.

22.)    Corey receives the care package. Egh. I guess the general audience likes dumb showmances.

33.)    Paul and Victor entered into a final 4 with Nicole and Corey. 

So after this, Nicole decides Michelle is her target. She nominates Michelle and then nominates Paul as a pawn. She did this under the pretense of keeping her deal with James. That’s all well and good, but please break it Nicole. Nothing would be sweeter.

                                                        Worst Player of the Episode

    Michelle. Didn’t I just finish telling everyone why Michelle’s nomination last week would bite her in the butt? Well, now we see it bite her in the butt. Nicorey were still around to nominate her, and Paul and Victor are no longer protecting her. All of this she sacrificed for a faux showmance that couldn’t care less about her. Great game. Not. Her only saving grace was that she didn't cry this episode. But, almost everyone else was at top game form except her and Jatalie, and they stayed off the block.

                                                      Best Player of the Episode

Nicole. She found a way to keep her word and get out a player who is a threat to her. THAT’S how you handle nominations when you made a deal. And now she has 2 alliances she can fall back on. She may actually have learned how to play for when she isn’t making out with Corey.

So there you have it, another episode of Big Brother down. Stay tuned to see who will win the veto, and will it be used to screw James over? Pretty please. Pretty please. Pretty please.

BB18 Recap "Here's Why Playing for America's Favorite Doesn't Work"

  This episode of Big Brother could be summed up in just 3 sentences. Paulie was insulted by the jury house girls. Victor was evicted. The competition for HOH and the jurors coming back was started. That’s it. So while I will touch on these aspects, I won’t really go much in depth. Instead, I’m going to spend more time explaining why the game play of a James or a Natalie will never win the game of Big Brother. 

    So we start off our quick recap of this episode with the end of the veto meeting. Corey has been put beside Victor, and almost everyone accepts that Victor will be evicted. However, never one to lay down and die, Paul and Victor conspire to try to save their alliance. They decide to have Paul buddy up to Nicole and Corey in the hopes of making the house paranoid enough about Paul, that they see Victor as necessary to help get him out. It’s a good idea in theory, it just is hurt by the fact that the two boys have been allied for so long. Who would believe that they wouldn’t just ally again?

    After we see this minimal game talk, we get a segment at the jury house. In perhaps the most deserved moment of the season, Paulie is eviscerated by the girls already in the jury house. They all point blank tell him that even if he had made it to the end; they would have never voted for him. This hurts Paulie’s ego to the point where all he can say is that they are catty women. And while I won’t disagree with him when it comes to Da and Zakiyah, I will disagree when he says that about Bridgette. She was nothing but nice to everyone over the summer, so if she really dislikes you, you probably are a douche. Watching the girls lay into Paulie was incredibly entertaining and it almost made putting up with his misogynistic remarks worth it. 

   After this segment, Victor is predictably eliminated. But, he gets another shot to come back into the game and will compete against the other jurors in an endurance competition. 

      Now that I’ve done that recap, I want to talk about a specific topic. That topic is playing for America. You mainly see this strategy with James and Natalie. Every move they make, every word they say is calculated to make America like them. They have no real gameplay because they don’t want to make America mad. They try to be “honest” so America likes them. Everything they do revolves around America. But here’s the thing that never works. Not even for winning America’s Favorite Player. James won last year because he was a breath of fresh air compared to the lowlifes he was in the house with, not his pranks. Natalie was very popular at the start of this season, but now looking at rankings, she is listed even below Frank in popular. Yes, a person evicted weeks ago is more popular than her and James. So, what does this say? It says that America can tell when they are being fed B.S.

    The people who watch this show want to see the game. If we wanted to watch pranks and niceties, there are other reality shows for that. If we want to watch a fake showmance, we have The Bachelor. None of that matters to most Big Brother viewers. We want to see you play the game, and play it well. This includes making big moves, but more often than that it means just not being stupid. However, because Natalie and James are explicitly playing for “America” they have ended up making moves that America hates. They think America likes Nicorey so they save them. Newsflash, America actually hates them. So not only are Natalie and James not accomplishing their goal, they are also screwing up any chances they have of winning the money. Spoiler alert here, Nicole and Corey have already turned on them in favor of a better alliance. 

    There has never been a winner of this show that has played the game how they think America wants them to. Every move they make was not dictated by America. In fact, some of the best Big Brother players' personalities aren't liked by America. For example, one of the best winners of this show ever was Maggie of Big Brother 6. She was incredibly disliked by many Americans for her attitude, but most fans can admit that she deserved the money hands down for her game play. And when it comes down to it, that’s what this show should be about. Not pandering. So James and Natalie enjoy your little excerpt in the Big Brother fan books, it won’t last long. I hope the semi popularity is worth losing out on 500,000 dollars. 

BB18 Recap "Paul The Exterminator"

    Boom, goes the dynamite. Wow, last night’s episode of Big Brother was surely explosive. Michelle’s words at the nomination ceremony sent Paul into a whirlwind of fury that ended up targeted at the snake of the house, Nicole. Not only did that win brownie points with me, it also made this episode the most entertaining one since Paulie was booted. 

   Let me start the recap by addressing the elephant in the room: one jury member will come back. This means that the viewers at home know that Natalie and Michelle made the worst nominations. Paul and Victor are comp beasts and have a huge chance of coming back if evicted, making this week pointless. Furthermore, let’s say they lose, but Paulie comes back. Not evicting Corey or Nicole means Paulie will come back and immediately have his group to rejoin with. Depending on competition wins, that means that side could have the majority. Now, I know the argument some people may have. You may be tempted to say something along the lines of they don’t know another person is coming back. But, here’s the thing: they should.

    Big Brother and its schedule is determined MONTHS in advance. That means that things like double evictions and the number of returning house guests are also planned that far in advance. That means that even though the round trip ticket was a bust, that producers had planned in the schedule for 2 house guests to come back during this season. Meaning, something would have to happen to bring back another. Secondly, this show for the past few years has ALWAYS had more than one double eviction. If any of the house guests bothered to remember this, and then do the math about how many evictions were left, they’d realize there is another person coming back. There have been plenty of seasons where the contestants have figured similar things out just by being observant. Michelle, a BB super fan, should have figured this out.

   Now on to the episode. Paul immediately blows up and goes to the people in power to ask why he was put up. Basically, Natalie and Michelle can’t think of any good reason that they can back up. They just reiterate he is a liar with no proof. That’s where Paul wins this argument. If Natalie had stuck to her DR’s she could have just told him he was a threat, but she didn’t. This led to her and Michelle second guessing the nominations, and Paul screaming at Nicole for lying to get him on the block. Which brings me to another point: Nicole has to stop playing innocent. She’s a bad liar and everyone knows her game. If she just owned it, she’d have a chance to win. But, the way things stand, people may not like her enough to give the money to her. The fight between Paul and Nicole was interrupted by a funny little moment when Corey, oblivious to everything, decides to take off his patriotard in a little strip tease for Nicole. It was ridiculously awkward but super funny to watch. 

   Less than a full day later, Natalie is back to wanting Paul to go home because he slept in her HOH bed when she wanted to. That’s right ladies and gentlemen. She made a game decision based on where someone slept. Forget the rational and adult way to handle the situation, where you wake him up and ask him to move. Let’s just skip right to evicting him for this. Next, Natalie will dump James if he leaves the toilet seat up. 

   The veto competition starts with Paul having to win it to stay safe. House guests had to listen to storm broadcasts using the names of past house guests and be able to recite the information on a television prompt. Paul wins the competition having gotten every single question right. But, that’s not all the house guests could win. They could also win the….

You Suck Award for this competition

  I had a hard time deciding who to give this to. As much as I wanted to give it to Corey for being more into making out with Nicole than studying; Natalie’s performance was just too horrific to not give it to her. Out of 21 points, she only got 10. And this is in a scenario where the questions were all fairly easy and only had 4 potential answer choices. 

  Since Paul won the veto, he obviously used it on himself, dooming his boy Victor by having him sit next to Corey. However, knowing the two of them, they likely have some sort of plan brewing to save themselves. Tune in tonight at 9/8 c to see whether they succeed. 

                                                    Best Player of the Episode 

    This goes to Paul for winning the veto competition when he had to. He’s always been good about winning when he needs to and throwing a comp when there is no incentive to win it.

                                                  Worst Player of the Episode

   I’m going to give this to Michelle again for basically the same reasons as last time. There at least was some logic to Natalie keeping Corey/Nicole because , depending on the buyback, there could be a chance for some loyalty there. But, Michelle has no chance of a close relationship with Corey/Nicole. Paul and Victor were her best chances at a stable alliance and she’s blown it. I fully expect this to bite her in the butt later in the game. 

                                        

BIP Recap "Ashley's Burn Book"

     It is such a beautiful thing to have a friend. It’s a relationship you trust. You get ice cream together, braid each other’s hair, and if you’re Ashley I. they wipe away your tears. Friendship for Amanda means she gets her tongue out of Josh’s mouth long enough to converse with you. It’s beautiful. But, you know what sucks? When that friendship is not really friendship. Or even when a romance isn’t really a romance. Both of these were experienced this episode. Let’s start with the romance issue…

    The episode starts with the fallout of Izzy essentially dumping Vinny. Carly, being self-obsessed, compares their breakup to hers and Kirk’s. Except that comparison doesn’t work. Izzy dumped Vinny because a hot dude walked by, shallow reasons. Kirk dumped you because he wasn’t interested in the crazy. Basically, the breakup makes me feel for Vinny because he handled it as well as he could have. She blindsided him and not even for a good reason (or an actually attractive male). Vinny then leaves paradise. 

     After this, past Bachelor In Paradise couple Jade/Tanner return to give a date card to the couple they deem most deserving. Each couple talks with them one on one. The most noteworthy thing to come from this was that it caused a fight between Grant and Lace. Grant revealed to them that he told Lace he loved her, but she didn’t say anything back. He then repeats his feelings later, for Lace to say “I get it. You repeat yourself a lot.” Ouch. So Lace is now questioning whether her and Grant will work. This is the first lick of sense she has shown during this show.

    Jade/Tanner flip a coin to decide whether they give the date to Tanner’s bestie, Jared, or Jade’s bestie, Carly. Ok, not really, but we all know that’s where their decision was going to be. Tanner wins out and they give the rose to Jared/Caila, even after Ashley warned them about Caila’s intentions.

        This brings us to the main theme of the episode that basically was 75 percent of the show’s airtime.  I’m going to completely skip Carly and Evan’s date in order to spend time on the Caila and Ashley fight. It starts with Ashley telling Jared that Caila is a “robot” and that everyone in paradise is doubting whether she likes him as much as he likes her. Look, I get that people don’t like Ashley’s obsessive behavior and crying. Heck, even I hated her last year. But, nothing that she said last night was false. She does know Jared better and Caila does come off fake and not interested in Jared. Even Carly posted on twitter last night to back up Ashley and said that MULTIPLE people doubted Caila during this process. When there’s that much smoke, at least some of it has to be true.

     Caila takes offense to Ashley warning Jared and decides to confront her. She accuses Ashley of trying to sabotage her relationship. And maybe Ashley is. But, yet again, there is nothing that she is saying that is false. Hate Ashley all you want, but in my opinion, nothing about this situation makes Caila look good. She was friends enough with Ashley I. to have hung out with her before filming, and told her that there was no way she would ever go out with Jared. Yet, he is the first person she goes after when she arrives. Then, she acts shocked when Ashley is upset and aggravates this further by not actually being that interested in the guy she threw away friendship for. There’s nothing flattering about this.   If Ashley wrote a burn book, she’d have Caila as Regina George, and I’m not sure I’d blame her.

  The episode ends with a cliffhanger of Caila and Ashley’s fight, and with me clawing my eyes out just waiting for Wells’ arrival to set things right. Please come Wells. You are the hero Gotham both needs and deserves.

BIP Recap "That's Just Not What Girls Do"

          Hello friends, here we are again with another episode of Bachelor In Paradise, or as it should be called, Why The Human Race Is In Trouble. As of now, there hasn’t been a single person that has disproven anything I’ve said on my first blog post on the show about why they were still single. That’s ok though, I like being right. 

        We jump right into the episode in the middle of a cocktail party. The guys are giving out the roses and the girls on the chopping block are worried. Worried about world peace? Worried about relatives’ health? Nope, they are worried about if the wildcard Canadian Daniel will give them the rose. You see, at this point, almost everyone was coupled up except for him. So the 3 girls not coupled up, Sarah, the twins, and Ashley were vying for his rose. (Yes, I’m aware the twins are 2 people, but in terms of needing to get a rose, they only count as one.) Sarah, worried that her eggs are dying with every new Daniel-ism becomes desperate enough to bake him a half-birthday cake to get his rose. You read that correctly, not a birthday cake, but a half-birthday cake. What’s next? A half engagement ring for being in a half-sided relationship? Also, looking at Daniel’s body; does he even know what cake tastes like? He sure doesn’t look like he eats it, unless it’s a part of his protein shakes.

       Daniel, being like most 20 year old men in the world, decides the twin fantasy is just too enticing for him and gives his rose to those two. Sarah leaves crying about how she can’t find love. Ashley, supposedly, reaches an epiphany where she realizes she should have looked at other guys not named Jared. So she comes back and asks the other contestants if she can have another chance. Or, in other words, producers knew she’d be TV gold and told the other contestants to let her have another chance. Either way, she’s back.

       And…. We don’t even go a day before Ashley breaks the “I’m over Jared” promise she made to everyone else. She still holds on to some hope of them being together. I hold out hope that my fast forward button works. Neither of us were the winners in this. Speaking of me losing, the next three guys to enter the house were so dull. Carl, Brett, and Ryan all enter Paradise this week and they are so underwhelming. None of these guys I would rate above a 6, yet there are girls fawning over them. Emily thinks Carl is the hottest thing ever, and Caila even considers going on a date with Brett when she already has Jared. We’ll get to Izzy’s stupidity later.

       Brett asks Caila on the date and in the most convoluted way possible, she agrees. My friend (shoutout to Annelise) was watching the episode with me and we were both flabbergasted as to why she’d go on a date with Brett when she had Jared. Jared. Like the most perfect guy in paradise, Jared. What’s worst is that before the date, Jared says he doesn’t want her to go because he wants to be exclusive. But, Caila goes anyway. I don’t know about you, but to me that’s a hint that Caila is not nearly as into Jared as she tries to act like she is. If she wasn’t into him enough to be exclusive, then she certainly shouldn’t have dated him when she knew her “friend” still had feelings for him. It makes her look pretty bad as a person. 

    Carl asks Emily out and it becomes a double date between them and Brett/Caila. It’s basically an orgy on a boat and I think my eyes were covered like 90 percent of the date. The only thing I got from it was that Caila didn’t end up feeling Brett and came back to the house begging Jared to forgive her. Even after moping all day, Jared takes her back. I cringe because at this point, I just don’t buy her as being into Jared. The bubbly, always happy, persona seems fake on her, and as I pointed out earlier, if she really liked Jared, she would never have gone on a date with Brett. That’s not how girls work.

    Other noticeable things in this episode: Grant told Lace he loved her after only knowing her about 1 and a half weeks in real time. Yep, that’s not at all rushed. Daniel was also apparently being super clingy with Haley, one of the twins. Yet again, not a surprise. Daniel has already told the camera about his virgin fantasies with Ashley I., it wouldn’t surprise me if he had a thing for twins too. 

     The episode ends with its most explosive part.  When Brett arrived, Izzy basically got a huge lady boner, and even though she was in an exclusive relationship with Vinny, she wanted Brett. So on national television, she reveals just how immature she is, by throwing away a relationship she admits was going “great” so that she could potentially shack up with a “hot” guy (even though Brett is sooo not hot, ugh). Vinny is rightfully pissed and wants to confront her about why she thinks this is even remotely a good idea. And that’s where the episode ends. Join me tomorrow for a blog post about the final part of this week’s Bachelor In Paradise episodes.

BB18 Recap: How I Survived the 18th Century

           Hola, mis amigos. It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve posted. There was no blog posted on Friday because I was busy finishing up life in the 18^th century. We had no internet or cable. It was a full blown time machine. So yeah, there was no blog. Apologizes for that, but I’m super excited to be back at UVA and back on the normal schedule for blogging. They may be posted later than usual, but they wil be posted almost every day. So cheers to an existence out of an apartment that had 3 landline telephone collectors and only one cable line.

        

         You know what else felt like the 18^th century? This most recent Big Brother episode. The heterosexual couples formed an alliance to stay in power, while the non-romantic couple and the 18^th century equivalent of a spinster(Michelle) ended up being in trouble.  How did this come to be? Well lets start with the HOH competition.

         So the HOH competition required the houseguests to be able to hold a button until a voice told them they could go search for rings in the complete darkness. Whoever collected the most rings in 2 hours won. Natalie wins the competition after complaining nonstop about her neck. I think her neck is a euphemism for the pain being around James brings her.

                                                The You Suck Award for this comp goes to…

      Michelle. She had an advantage that allowed her to search an extra time for rings, but wasted it by being eliminated because she let go of the button. She also predictably cried over this. Then, she was gifted with America’s care package allowing her to be Co-HOH. I’ll get to that in a second.

      Natalie thinks about who she wants upon the block. After many ditzy thoughts, Natalie decides/is brainwashed by producers to save Nicole and Corey and out up Paul and Victor. Gamewise, the logic makes sense, but Natalie didn’t come up with the idea and that angers me. If Paul was able to manipulate people, the DR should’ve let him do that, not plant seeds in Natalie’s head to get her to take him out. Paulie also had something to do with it by planting seeds before his eviction, but that impacted Michelle more than it did Natalie.

        What’s even stupider is that Michelle went along with the idea to put up Victor and Paul. She says that she can’t trust Paul because he lied about Davonne going home. Paulie had given her this information. Hello? Are you seriously basing your gameplay off of information a socipathic liar tells you? If Paulie told you jumping off a bridge would win you Big Brother, would you do it? The funny thing is what Paulie told her wasn’t even fully true. Paul knew Da going home was possible, but his target always was Bridgette.

         But alas, Victor and Paul are the nominations and I look forward to an explosive veto episode.

                                                Best Player of the Episode

        The sarcastic persona side of me would like to give this award to production. But, I can’t so I’ll give it to Nicole for being smart enough to be production’s pet, as well as trying to work a showmance alliance for as long as she can before Corey comes out of the closet.

                                                     Worst Player of the Episode

           Michelle. She could’ve forced Natalie’s hand to get out Nicole or Corey. Without her support, Natalie would not have been able to ensure they had the numbers to get out her target. By giving her support, Michelle gave up an alliance where she’d likely make final 2, for an alliance where she is the 5^th wheel and the most disposable. Horrible game play all around.

          Well that is it for now folks. I'll be back with another post tomorrow about Bachelor In Paradise. If you're enjoying the blog, don't hesitate to let me know, ask any questions, basically whatever you want. I do this mainly for me, but if  there is anything I can do to improve the reader experience, let me know.

BB18 Recap "Zingbot Zings Me To Sleep"

   You know what happens when your Dad posts a big snake picture on Facebook when he knows they scare you? You reinstate your Facebook war. It’s what you do. You know what happens when you finally get Paulie on the block? You make sure he doesn’t win veto. It’s what you do. Both of these have occurred after the newest Big Brother episode, but only one I will elaborate on for this recap. Before I begin, I want to apologize for not having a Bachelor In Paradise recap up for this week. Getting things ready for back to school have bene pretty hectic, but if anyone still wants me to do it, just let me know and I can just put it up this weekend.

   So, we start off the episode with Paulie still crying. Dude, get a grip on your emotions. You sent the current HOH home, if he didn’t nominate you, he would’ve been stupid. Heck, Victor is even giving you a chance to play veto, a chance you didn’t give him. It’s time to put your big boy panties on. The rest of the houseguests now clearly see that the way to get Paulie to lose a comp is to rile him up prior to playing. So Paul comes up with a plan for everyone to gang up on Paulie to get him angry. Now, I don’t agree with this. 1.) Because anger can actually cause people to perform BETTER on certain comps and 2.) Ganging up on anyone, even someone who is as much of a douche-bag as Paulie, is wrong. I get why Paul didn’t want to do it on his own, but I think getting James and Michelle in on it was too much. Michelle, to her credit, did provide us viewers with a funny remark when she flat out tells Paulie that he is the reason he is up. His actions caused him to lose power, not hers. If she hadn’t bullied so much and cried so much prior to this moment, I might actually have ended up liking her. Now, I’m conflicted. I must go back to the therapist I stopped seeing when Paul’s “friendship” stopped bothering me.

       The veto competition begins and it is one of my favorites: zingbot. Before the comp, he “zings” the houseguests with funny, but mean spirited remarks. Here is what he said, and whether I think they were any good.

Michelle: It was a zing aimed at her crying and puking. 6/10. It was the predictable route to take, and because of that, wasn’t that funny.

Paul: Zingbot called him out for his catchphrases of “pissed” and “friendship”, and tells him that he has a new phrase for him: “shut the f*** up.” 10/10 if only because I’ve said the same thing in my blogs.

Victor: Zingbot talks about how he’d only feel it appropriate to zing Victor in Spanish, and then calls him a douchebag. 5/10. Fairly lazy and not really accurate. Victor’s had his moments of being a tool, but they weren’t that bad.

Paulie: He was zinged about being a less charming, less of a gameplayer, and less attractive version of his brother. All true, but for the same reasonsa s Michelle 6/10.

Corey: Zingbot asked him who makes Nicole’s heart flutter and have her thinking wedding bells? And then said Hayden, who was Nicole’s showmance in BB16. 7/10. It was funny, but was more of a zing to Nicole than Corey.

James: Zingbot told him that he enjoys scaring people with his pranks, but the people he is scaring most of all are Natalie’s parents. 9/10. It’s funny, talks about valid things, and gets at something that would bother James. We need more zings like these.

Natalie: Zingbot calls her out for being ditzy and having armpit hair. 4/10. Not particularly funny, and also, I don’t think a single live feeder has really noticed anyone’s armpit hair with frequency, definitely not Natalie’s.

Nicole: Zingbot talked about how in BB16 she couldn’t win comps, lost her game because of a showmance, and was overall stupid. Oh wait, that is this season. 10/10 because yet again another zing I touched on when I wrote my first ever blog. I might have to sue Zingbot for plagiarizing. 

The veto competition officially begins with people aiming a beanie to try and get the most points. The person with the least amount of points is eliminated and opens a “prize”. Then, the next person eliminated opens their prize and can determine whether they keep it, or trade it for a previously eliminated player’s prize. Victor ends up winning the power of veto. The other results were: Corey has to wear a patriotard, Paulie has to bake apple pies on cue, Paul must wear a security uniform, Nicole wins a trip, and James gets 5,000 dollars. 

The “You Suck” award for this comp goes to….

   NOT JAMES! In a shocking turn of events, I give this one to Paulie for a variety of reasons. 1.) He was the first houseguest to score a 0. But, the main reason was that he is at fault for why he has a punishment. He was eliminated 4^th in the competition, there was no way that he would keep veto if he chose to take it from Corey. But, he did anyway. It was a pointless maneuver that only showed how little he cares for his alliance members. If neither of you are going to get to keep it, why take it? Trade with Nicole for a prize. The way he did it doomed both him and his strongest ally to punishments. Dumb move.

    Not much happened after that, so I’m going to take the time to rant at CBS for their over-positive editing of Paulie. In the past, they have shown none of his misogynistic comments towards women or when he threatened to have Natalie and Bridgette beaten up. FINE. It had nothing to do with the game. But, when he got his punishment to bake pies, he flat out REFUSED to do it. He had to be called to the diary room 4 times. He threatened to quit and not go to the jury house, he was a big brat. CBS not showing any of this reeks of favoritism towards the Califiore family and it’s frankly annoying. Almost as annoying as my dad tagging me in snake photos on Facebook. ALMOST. 

So veto meeting happens and Victor keeps nominations the same. Another thing you missed is that apparently veto meeting speeches were cut because Paulie decided to make up that he had an aunt dying of cancer and use it in his speech. Yet again, another classless move by Paulie that CBS is hiding.

                                                     Best player of the Episode:

       This goes to Victor for having the sense to make strong nominations and stick to his guns under pressure. Then following through by winning veto and keeping nominations the same.

                                                 Worst Player Of The Episode

        Obviously Paulie. I can’t even. Please leave the house and never come back.

BB18 Recap "The PP Has Hit The Fan"

     Last week was the dark part before the dawn with the heroes(tv watchers) feeling like things were not going our way. Paulie was saved and all of a sudden we started thinking of every worse possible scenario that could see him regaining his power position. Thankfully, King Paulie remained deposed and we can turn our attention to the VERY entertaining episode that we got to watch as a result.

   

     The night starts off with Big Brother airing the fight which helped cement Zakiyah going home. Natalie, being the sweet girl that she is, told Zakiyah all of the bad things Paulie had been saying about Natalie and Zakiyah. Heck, Natalie didn’t even share the worst things that Paulie said, which I’m not gonna repeat here because they are seriously gross and offensive. Zakiyah, being as delusional as she is, immediately shares everything with Paulie. This makes him angry as he prepares to hulk smash the entire house. Out of nowhere, he decides to threaten Natalie and then make a remark about how she is as fake as her breasts are. Natalie, to her credit, just says ok and walks away. But, that’s not it. Paulie continues to trash talk her even after Bridgette and James say how disgusted they are with him for it. Aka WHEN THE SWING VOTES TELL YOU TO STOP, YOU STOP. Paulie talked himself into a corner by insulting James’s crush.  Don’t mess with a Texas man’s cheerleader. James landing a cheerleader is as rare as the Cowboys winning a game without Tony Romo, He isn’t going to blow it. 

      Paul also decides to go poo poo on his PP alliance and throw Paulie to the wolves. He even says he’ll win HOH if it means he can throw Paulie’s butt up himself. Damn, Paul has grown on me so much I no longer flinch upon hearing the word friendship. The PTSD is clearing up. Now if only Paul will pay the therapist bill. 

    Next, its HOH time. The HOH competition is one where two houseguests each round compete to answer a question first about a board of squirrel pictures. The person who is last to get the answer is eliminated, while the winner then gets to pick who goes up against each other in the next round until a winner is crowned. Victor wins and Paul immediately gets to work on convincing him to put up Paulie and Corey. I immediately get to work on my celebration party for Thursday’s eviction. CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON!

                                       And The You suck moment of the comp goes to…

      JAMES for the billionth time. He has won this every time since I started remarking on it. He gets it this time for his stupid choice of who to make face off next to each other. You want Paulie not to win the Hoh. You want Nicole not to win the HOH. So what does a person with a brain do? You should have put Nicole and Paulie. But no, you do Nicole and Paul. Yeah you thought Paul could beat her, but you shouldn’t have even risked it when you didn’t have to. You could’ve guaranteed one of them was eliminated and THEN have the other go up against Paul. 

   In a move shocking no one, especially since no alternatives were shown, Victor nominates Corey and Paulie. Paulie immediately begins crying because he and his butt buddy are on the block together and if Corey goes, it’s not like his beard is in the house any more to flirt with. I can’t wait to see how Paulie spins his tears as ok when he has ragged on every girl in the house for being emotional.

                                               And worst player of the episode goes to…

        Paulie. He essentially went from being Marlon Brando in The Godfather to the dead horse’s head. This is what happens children when you overplay only because you are a narcissist. 

                                            And best player of the episode goes to...

      Paul. He knows how to play both sides until when he knows the trigger has to be pulled. Ladies and gentlemen THIS is the meaning of the word floater. Not what Rachel Reily incorrectly said it was ruining the term for the new generation of big brother viewers. Floater has nothing to do with competition wins. A floater is a person who switches alliances every week based on who is in power. Paul stuck with Paulie until he was no longer in power, and then went to who was. And now I’d argue he’s the top dog with the best chances of winning. Moral of the story, don’t be like Rachel Reily, know the meaning of what you are saying. He gets bonus points for knowing my number one tip of if you don’t need to win a competition, don’t, when he shared that he wanted to let Victor win once it came down to the two of them. Maybe we can have friendship now Paul. Maybe. P.S. This picture is a result of something really funny that will happen on Wednesday's episode so tune in for that.

As  always, I hope you enjoy your day and let me know what you think of the recap.

BB18 Recap "Here's Why We Can't Have Nice Things"

        Boy, was that disappointing. We were promised a game changing episode. I felt like a kid in a candy store surrounded by delicious goodness expecting the greatest of payoffs.  I was sure that nothing could go wrong. Zakiyah was evicted, showing that the house was ready to play against Paulie. But then, the unthinkable happened. Corey won the double eviction HOH and Paulie was safe. I have never been so disappointed except for when I found out Lizzie McGuire was ending. But, I must soldier on and continue this recap.

    This recap will be shorter than the usual because not much game occurred. As a double eviction, 70 percent of the show is focusing on the competitions. I’m not a sports commentator so what I’d have to say would just be pretty boring.

    We start the episode with the house waking up. No, not to their bedroom alarms, but to the fact that Paulie is playing them all. Even his PP alliance mate Paul is worried that he has been getting “boned”. No Paul, it’s not quite that bad. Paulie still only bones Zakiyah, and maybe Corey in his dreams. Either way the house decides to evict Zakiyah to loosen Paulie’s grip on the house, with James using his power to get rid of Paul and Corey’s votes. Major props go out to Paul for finding a way for this eviction to play out in his favor regardless of who won. He can claim to Paulie that his vote was cancelled because he would’ve saved Z, while still having his actual target walk out the door. By a vote of 3-2 Zakiyah is evicted.

     But then, the tides turned as Corey won HOH. My smile beaming from ear to ear was replaced by the sound of angry tears cascading down my face. Because lets be real, Corey was never going to put his boyfriend Paulie up. Heck, Corey was even stupid enough to call James in on the meeting to decide who was going home. JAMES! The dude who just voted in a way to blindside you. I know Corey wasn’t cast for his brain… but still.

       So he nominates Bridgette and Michelle. Then he wins the veto and keeps those two on the block. In a span of five minutes, they decide to evict Bridgette instead of Michelle. Because for some reason the girl who is basically crippled and can’t win anything physical  at this point is more of a threat than the super fan who blew up your games? This is just the latest in a string of Paulie blunders that have made him go from top dog to least likely to win this game.

     So with that being said:   Worst Player of the Episode is 

        Paulie!  I have never seen a person ruin their game so much in just 24 hours.  You were the top dog. But, when you heard rumblings of Zakiyah going, you let your douche side show through. They won’t show this until the episode Sunday, but he went into a string of misogynistic comments aimed primarily at Natalie. They were disgusting to read and hear about, and those were the final nail in his coffin. James, Natalie’s slave at this point he is so whipped, was never going to support Paulie after that. Now Paulie’s only allies are the Nicorey showmance who will also leave shortly. He went from being a shoo-in to win to having virtually no shot.

                                      Best Player of the Episode is

       This is a choice that might surprise everyone. Paul was a very close second place, but I’m giving this to Natalie. I am doing that because she was the actual one to instigate Zakiyah’s eviction. The edit gave the credit to Bridgette and Michelle, but they were mostly lackeys. The idea to flip votes was Natalie’s, and she was the person who got Paul and James on board. Without them, this never would have happened. Recently, she has come off as smarter than I gave her credit for, so this is my way of apologizing as well as giving her credit for something the episode refused to. She’s the best female left in this game.

   There it is. My thoughts on this most recent episode. Hopefully someone not named Nicole or Paulie win HOH and we can see some real game start to happen. With that being said, have a great day, and don't be afraid to let me know what you think.

BB18 Veto Recap "He's Just Not That Into You"

           Have you ever gotten the feeling you’ve watched a TV episode before? Not a repeating episode, but an episode that is airing for the first time?  Because that’s all I felt watching last night’s episode. It didn’t bring anything new to the table and just continued themes that have been going on for the entire season. You’ll see what I mean as we jump on in to game talk.

                                                        

                                                      Pre-Veto Game Talk

  

1                                   1. The main focus of this episode would be the disagreement between Paul and Paulie, “PP” as they call themselves, over whether Zakiyah or Michelle should go home this week. For starters, with an alliance name that sounds like it was chosen by 5 year old boys, this was doomed from the start. “PP” really? Next they are going to call themselves “DoDo”. But, anyway I digress.

            King Paulie, having had everything else goes his way, pretty much demands that Zakiyah stay and Michelle goes. Does he use any logic to get this to happen? No. He just expects Paul to agree anyway. Paul gets super skeeved and starts saying how this makes Paulie look selfish after Paulie had said he would be okay with Zakiyah going. I want to smack him upside the head. Really, just now you think Paulie is being selfish? Not when he was controlling every other vote? Only this one??? Man, Paul, that beard must be blocking your eyes from any gameplay going on. The seeds for discontent in this relationship have been planted.

          

          2.   No other real game talk occurred during the vote. Michelle was still bawling over Victor’s rude speech for most of the episode, barely getting enough air in before she lets out that its strange Victor didn’t put up Paulie. For those who don’t remember, when Paulie was HOH he pretended to form an alliance with Victor and then back doored him causing Victor to be evicted. Paulie not going on the block cemented to Michelle that he must have been doing some manipulating behind the scenes.  Michelle suffers from “DaVonne Syndrome”. She made this very astute observation, but how she presented this information lacked good execution.

1.       

                3. The last thing I want to talk about before the veto is Zakiyah and Paulie. She, still for some reason thinking they are the real deal, asked him to use the veto on her. After a pause long enough to worry anyone with a brain, he agrees to if she picks him to play. Zakiyah does. At first, this angered me at how naive she was to buy into his lies and pick him. However, once I thought about it more, it’s not like she had any other options.  No one else would’ve even remotely tried to take her off either. Now as for what I think about their relationship… I’ll get to that in a bit.

The Veto Competition

               So this veto comp was basically hide and go seek, but with veto markers instead of people. The houseguest would hide their marker and try to find the others. The last veto marker that remained hidden would win, and the houseguest that hid that marker would get the power of veto. I have issues with this set up for the competition. It basically means that you could suck during the finding portion and still win based on luck. In order for it to be more well-rounded, I think it should be decided by points. You’d get points both for how long your veto went not found, and whether you found any veto markers. Basically, Nicole and Victor found all of the markers. Paulie found one. I’m not saying he shouldn’t have won. But, Nicole should’ve gotten something for being the 2^nd to last to have her veto found and having been one of the few people finding veto markers. 

      The “you’re an idiot” moment for this competition goes to……..

      JAMES for the second time in a row. This isn’t because he performed poorly persay, but because he is an idiot. Instead of trying to find vetos, he spent the time trashing the house. For all you neat freaks out there, I suggest you skip this paragraph. He was opening shut bags of food and throwing them on the floor, breaking eggs, throwing pans around, anything he could to make a mess. The worst part was that he had no game reason for doing it. He thought he was being “cute” and “funny”. Well guess what buddy? If one of the girls had won the veto, your small butt would’ve ended up on the block and likely evicted because you pissed people off.

Post Veto Game Talk

                        1.       So this is the segment where I am going to talk about Paulie and Zakiyah. At this point, I can’t even feel bad for the girl. She acts surprised when he basically alludes to her that he isn’t going to use the veto. Because if “the queen” isn’t going home, apparently she should stay on the front lines to protect “the king”. The sad part is, she doesn’t even challenge him on this. She just nods her head and probably cuddled with him less than an hour later. How does she even still tolerate him when he’s done nothing but show how little she means to him? Even my dad agreed with me that if you are in Paulie’s shoes and you care about your “queen” you take her off of the block. Now, I might excuse Zakiyah if this was only the first sign that he was a scumbag. But, he has given plenty, and each and every time she goes back to him. I’m not blaming her for how he treats her. But, any woman with self-respect would’ve dropped him a while ago, and it’s sad that she doesn’t have enough confidence to see that.

                     Paulie, as expected, goes on to not use the power of veto. Michelle indignantly states that she will wreak havoc on Paulie’s game. While I can’t stand Michelle, I want her to succeed. 

Worst Player Of The Episode

                      Zakiyah, for all of the reasons already stated.

Best Player Of The Episode

                 Paulie still wins this one by default. However, I can see that starting to change. My biggest gripe with him, that made me almost give this to someone else, was him winning the veto. He had absolutely NO reason to win that veto, which he obviously tried to by putting the veto where he did. Winning the veto only cemented his status as a threat and caused drama with Zakiyah that didn’t even need to happen. 

            Here’s a note to any future Big Brother Players: If there is no reason for you to win a competition because you are safe regardless, DON’T.

              Tonight’s the double eviction and I hope you guys enjoy it. I’ll have a blog up on it tomorrow afternoon. If you’re enjoying the blogs or want to see my thoughts on a specific person or thing, don’t hesitate to write up a comment and let me know. Or if you disagree and think someone else should have gotten best or worst player, I'd love to hear your thoughts as well.