I never knew the
experience of being downright disturbed while simultaneously being very
entertained until last night. I mean, has The Bachelor ever had such a
downright unaware contestant as Corinne? Honestly, it feels like she takes dumb
blonde to another level. It’s clear from her one liners that she is actively
trying to stir up drama, but I think she has deluded herself into thinking that
people will actually like her for it? I don’t know. Watching Corinne actually
think she is a capable human being that is going places is confusing to say the
least. But, I’m sure we will be talking about Corinne for quite some time, so
let’s jump into the episode.
While the show is still in Los Angeles, the dates always
consist of trying to embarrass the contestants instead of actually being
something fun to do. This trend continued with the first group date, which was
a bridal photo shoot where each girl was a bride or a bridesmaid and a
stereotype themed wedding shot with Nick. All I can say is did you see how many
girls Nick stuck his tongue down their throats tonight? No, seriously. I think
he kissed every single one during the shot and then was making out with others
in several quick clips during this group date. It was so bad that I can’t even
do a kiss count for this episode because every few seconds it was a different
chick and I couldn’t keep track. Damn boy. You can’t possibly like all of the
girls you were making out with.
But, apparently what he does “like” is blatant villain behavior
in Corinne. Not even two episodes have past and she has no trouble blatantly
advertising to the world why no man will ever take her home to his mother. This
is the first technical date with a guy and she decides to take off her bikini
top and have him hold on to her boobs. This is the first date. Many girls won’t
even kiss a guy on the first date let alone basically force him to get to second
base. And of course she makes sure to do
this in front of all of the girls because according to Corinne, everyone should
be out for themselves only. Sure, but are you really out for yourself when all
you are doing is guaranteeing you will never be hired for another job as long
as you live? Some of these contestants are incredibly shortsighted.
Of course, this isn’t where Corinne decides to wise up and
act like she is older than 13. Instead, she decides to make a Bachelor first in
the history of all villains from the franchise. She does not interrupt just one
person to steal extra time, but two. She tries to justify herself later saying
that interrupting people happens on these show and it is what the girls sign up
for. That’s technically true. But, she didn’t just interrupt. She interrupted a
girl when she had ALREADY HAD TIME WITH HIM, to get a second time with him.
That’s usually what only the villains do. Then she did a Bachelor first, and
interrupted another girl to get a freaking third time with him. Even the
villains of the past know that that was a dumb move. I freaking cheered when
Taylor interrupted Corinne to have some more time after Corinne had interrupted
her. Corinne of course then became a total baby and tried to have it out with
Taylor afterwards acting as if it was done because Taylor “had a problem with
her.” Guess what Corinne? I have a problem with you too. And no it’s not
jealously, but as my family says “you can’t fix stupid”, and so I try to avoid
it when possible.
This brings me to something I am sure going to struggle with
all season. I officially know that I can never like Nick. It’s done. It’s
sealed. He gave the group date rose to Corinne KNOWING that she had interrupted
three times and showed no class by parading around topless. I already knew he
likely didn’t want to actually be engaged at the end of this, but no one is
that stupid to miss the red flags that she gives off. He did it on purpose
likely to start drama, and I am not going to like someone who is just a
producer puppet and mouthpiece. It makes everything he says and does completely
insincere and you can’t trust a word out of his mouth. I strongly dislike
people like that.
Anyway the only other conversation that was notable during
this date was Nick’s talk with Raven. She talked about her last relationship
ending because she walked in on him cheating on her. Yeah, that will end up a
relationship. Nick appears to like her. Oh, and in the blooper scene for the
night Alexis and Nick celebrated the fact that it was the anniversary of when
she got her boob job. Real classy. Where did they find these girls? That’s a
decent joke around your friends, but on national television?
The second date of the episode was a one on one with
Danielle M. I freaking love this girl. She seems so sweet and understated in a
way that screams normal. It is rare that you find a girl like that on these
shows. With that being said, I also think she does not stand a chance in
winning. She is absolutely stunning and amazing, but she had little to no
romantic chemistry with Nick. While they were in the hot tub on their yacht,
they weren’t any sparks. I do think she will make it far, but I don’t see her
making it to the end, which is a shame because she might actually be my
favorite this season. She also opens up to Nick about the death of her fiancé who
died of a drug overdose. I can’t imagine the guilt that that likely caused her,
so the fact that she is trying to move on is admirable. If only she had a different lead bachelor who
might actually appreciate that. All in all, the date only was about 15 minutes
of screen time because the rest of the episode was the Liz and Nick show.
Could the producers please stop replaying the loop of Liz explaining
how she and Nick had sex at Jade and Tanner’s wedding? Everyone who even
watched 10 seconds of an episode knows that. Its repetitive at this point. I
was praying for her to be eliminated just so that we didn’t have to hear about
it for another episode. Liz is another person on this season that I doubt I
will ever like. Its not that she seems like a bad person, but I wish she would
just be honest about wanting attention from the situation. Whenever anyone
talked about Nick, she would do this BLATANTLY OBVIOUS smile as if she wanted
to scream and talk about it again. She even got called out on it once. Then,
the first chance she gets, she tells Christen all about their past because she feels
like she can trust Christen. Which of course means that at the next group date
Christen ratted her out to Nick.
The last date of the episode was a group date at the Museum
of Broken Relationships. Each girl had to act out a breakup with Nick. None of
them were all that interesting but were incredibly awkward. But, Liz’s took the
cake for awkward. Look, I feel bad for her. She is getting trashed everywhere
and it likely hurt watching Nick blatantly ignore her. But, it is also what she
should have known was going to happen. I do not like Nick, but he is correct in
his assumption that it looks suspicious that she waited so long to pursue him.
Who knows? Maybe she was genuine. But, her conversation with him to explain
herself went downright terribly. Here is a brief summary of basically what was
said in my own words.
Nick: Jade knows me. If you wanted to pursue me, you could
have.
Liz: You were busy, shooting Paradise and stuff.
Nick: Girl, please. Paradise only takes 18 days to shoot. It’s
been 9 months.
Liz: Well, I don’t like talking to people on the phone if I’ve
met them. I want to see them in person.
Me: So why didn’t you ever try to see him in person? You
could have gotten his number from Jade and asked him to hang out. In
person. Also, I thought you didn’t
contact him because you didn’t like him UNTIL you watched Paradise. So, he wasn’t
too busy shooting Paradise when you actually decided you liked him. It was a
girl scrambling because she knew that her coming on the show didn’t look right.
Maybe she had good intentions, but she can’t deny how it looks. Nick was so
obviously fed up by the end of the conversation that he dumps her and sends her
home. He then goes to tell the girls about his past with Liz as the episode
ends on a dumb cliffhanger. Look, the show would never let every single girl
leave and dump the lead. Nor would most girls leave if they could because they
want tv time. Trying to convince the audience that it is a possibility is flat
out dumb.
Power Rankings
1st place:
Corinne- Not because I think he actually likes
her, but because its clear he will let her go far to keep on the drama.
2nd place:
Raven- Outside of really Corinne and Danielle M, she was really the only one shown having a decent sized conversation with him. Also, I love her because of her comment about Nick and Corinne. "If that's what he likes, no wonder it's his fourth time on the show." Damn, girl. Also, couldn't have said it better myself.
3rd place:
Danielle L. – Since Nick likes girls who take
their top off apparently and she doesn’t own a top that covers a decent amount
of her chest, by deductive reasoning, Nick likely likes her.
4th place:
Rachel- She had no time on this episode, but that’s
because the person who has the first impression rose never gets a date this week.
I expect her to come in strong on screen time next episode.
5th place:
Danielle M.- I love her, but the lack of
chemistry will ultimately send her home.
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