Hello friends and welcome back to
another episode recap of The Bachelor. I apologize for my absence last week,
prior obligations made it virtually impossible to set aside an hour for
writing. But, lets be honest did I really miss much? Taylor and Corinne fought
and there were some one on one dates. Lucky for us the exact same thing
happened this week! Okay, not exactly, but pretty much. As long as Corinne is
on the show each episode will revolve around her and we will all know what to
expect.
The episode starts off resolving
the cliffhanger from last week of Corinne and Taylor fighting. Corinne is angry
because Taylor basically called her stupid and Taylor is angry that Corinne
told Nick that Taylor basically called her stupid. Taylor defended herself by
saying that she was saying Corinne wasn’t “emotionally intelligent”, but that’s
basically saying that you did call her stupid in a specific area. Neither girl
came off looking great and I would rather gouge my eyes and ears out then
listen to them continue to whine about whether or not Corinne is stupid. She is
a 24 year old with a nanny who doesn’t know how to make cheese pasta, I think
that question has already been answered.
So the rose ceremony happens and
what do you know? The final roses are given to Corinne and Taylor. Its almost
as if producers knew that they would play a major role in the next week’s
dates. Wait, are you saying that the two of them get put on the dreaded 2 on 1?
No! That’s totally a coincidence. Insert rolling of my eyes here. The girls get
told that they are traveling to New Orleans. Funny story, my father and
stepmother traveled to New Orleans maybe a week or two after this show would
have filmed here. Okay, its not that funny, but I was tempted to ask them if
they recognized any of the places that the girls traveled to. Then I remembered
that my father would rather be caught dead then admit to if he had seen an
episode of this show. Spoiler alert: He watched The Bachelorette finale. Do
with that information what you will.
Chris Harrison
arrives with the first one on one date card and it goes to Rachel. She is
excited because she feels like she has not gotten much time with Nick. Or at
least she says she is excited. She’s a lawyer, she is probably really great at
lying by now. For their date they stroll around New Orleans dancing and making
out. The two appear to have a lot of chemistry and I am thoroughly convinced
that Nick’s type is assertive lawyers. He finds out that Rachel’s dad is a
federal judge and starts asking about what he should call him when they meet.
Nick is worried that Rachel’s father will judge him for having been on the show
multiple times. Nick, Rachel’s father is a federal judge. He is going to judge
you, but not for having been on a show he likely does not watch. He will
probably cross examine Nick until he is forced to admit that he doesn’t have a
real job and just wants to work in L.A. Nick, cross examinations are not fun. I
can already see the storyline of their future hometown date being about Nick’s
worries with her father. Because let’s be real, Rachel is going to get a
hometown date.
Rachel gets the rose and the group date for the episode
begins. The girls have to go to a haunted house and basically spend the night.
There is an incredibly scripted segment of the “bartender” telling them about
Mae and how they can’t touch her stuff or she will be mad. Did anyone seriously
buy any of this? Like, seriously? I would have been touching all of the stuff
and then laughing as the other girls freaked out. All of the sounds and movements that then
happened were obviously created by producers to scare the girls. I would have
enjoyed the date, but I worry about the future work force if its full of people
as gullible as these girls were. I was rooting for Jasmine due to her being
skeptical, but then she was saying she believed in ghosts by the end of it.
Before I talk about the second half of the group date, I
want to talk about the awesome Bachelor tie in segment that they ran as a commercial.
No, not the dumb ones with the Quantico “actress” if you could even call her
that. I am talking about the preview they gave for Beauty and the Beast. I
think I was more interested watching Josh Gad and Luke Evans make Bachelor puns
to Disney songs than I was in the entire episode. Maybe they should have been
the hosts for the Bachelor life after show last year? 10/10 I would have watched.
Okay, back to what you actually read this to know about.
Nick started taking the girls one by one to have conversations with them on the
group date. I do not really remember the order so I am just going to talk about
the ones I remember. I start with Danielle M, who ends up being the one to get
the group date rose. I do not know what went so great with the conversation
that she got the rose because these two are just so bland together. There is
very little chemistry and all that there really is is the fact that she is a
sweet girl from his hometown. If you do not see it, watch her conversation with
Nick and then watch any of his conversations with Rachel, Vanessa, Raven, etc.
They are miles a part in chemistry even if he is not letting her know that.
Then we have the other Danielle, Danielle L. I think she
giggled the entire conversation in between telling him that she could see
herself falling in love with him. So basically she regurgitated everything she
said to him last week. Nick proceeded to make out with her because that’s
likely the only reason she is still here at this point because it certainly isn’t
her use of words keeping her around.
The last two segments to mention were probably the most
hilarious of the group date and for separate reasons. The first was Alexis’s
time with Nick. Shark/Dolphin Girl has probably been the most consistently
funny girl on this show. She isn’t coming off stupid like Ashley S. in past
seasons did, but just that she wants to have a fun time. Last week off camera
she apparently told Nick that she has a fear of Nicholas Cage. So this episode
he dressed up in a Nicholas Cage mask and forced her to face her fears. It was
a hilarious segment and while he will never pick our wanna be dolphin, she
might be quickly becoming my favorite. Anyone who can make fun of themselves on
this show is alright in my book.
The next conversation was hilarious in a different, but albeit
disappointing way. Raven meets up with Nick and in a slip of the tongue says
that “that is when I knew I loved you.” HA HA HA. You love Nick?! HA HA HA. Yeah no. You have had one date
with him. Congratulations Raven on saying the funniest joke of the season thus
far. She then became worried after she told him and he didn’t give her
validation after saying it. Considering how the whole conversation was framed
as a joke, I’m willing to bet that he thought her confession was a joke.
Secondly, you want a reward for telling him the lies you are supposed to tell him?
Insert some sort of Gen X-rs making a commentary on Millennials joke here.
Anyway, now that the group date is through, we have what is
the centerpiece of the episode. Taylor and Corinne are forced to go on the 2 on
1 date. For those who do not know or can’t infer from the title, 2 girls go on
the date, only one gets the rose. The other has to go home. How convenient that
the date with the highest stakes has the two girls who hate each other the
most? Or that the villain is on this date? Its not like that hasn’t been the
formula for the past few years or so…..
In all honesty, I don’t have much to say about the date.
Both girls were unabashedly and unfortunately themselves the whole way through.
I think I was more interested in their scripted confessional moments than I was
the date. At one point Corinne mentioned let’s “Make Corinne great again,” in
an obvious spoof on Donald Trump. But 1.) This was filmed during the election
cycle so she likely had to be fed that line and 2.) Would Corinne have even
known who was running for election before Election Day? Let’s be real if she
even voted, she had her nanny do it for her. Corinne continues her attacks
against Taylor and tells Nick all about how Taylor “attacked” her. If what
Taylor said is attacking, I am sure Corinne feels murdered after all that
social media has said about her. I’m sure it sucks when you act like a complete
idiot on national television and have to deal with the critiques from people
who do not know you. Too bad I can’t have sympathy because so much of what she
said was so idiotic to say on camera that it gives validity to everything
Taylor would say about her. I am not a Taylor fan by any means. I think she
came off condescending. Corinne was right about that. But, that doesn’t mean
that Taylor wasn’t right. She has a degree from John Hopkins. If she says a
person has no emotional intelligence, I’m inclined to believe her over an
airhead who doesn’t know how to add cheese to pasta. Yes, I will continue to
bring up the cheese pasta example. It’s so blatantly ridiculous how could I
not?
Either way Nick sends Taylor home. For those who are
interested, he does a blog for People.com where he explained in more detail why
he sent her home. He basically summarized it by saying that all of the
emotional intelligence issues and lack of self-awareness problems that Taylor
was complaining about Corinne having, applied to Taylor as well so he sent her
home. That’s fair enough. But, even then I would have sent both girls home. You
can’t take issues with one girl not having emotional intelligence and then keep
the other girl who has been proven to have issues and not get along with the
other girls. Then you look like a hypocrite and a liar.
The episode ends with Taylor coming back about to give Nick
a piece of her mind. I am sure that it will be train wreck television and I
will be back next week to dissect it some more.
Power Rankings
1.)
Rachel- Her date went very well this week and
they have tons of chemistry. He even acknowledged thinking about and wanting to
meet her family. Guaranteed final 4 here we come.
2.)
Raven- Usually the first person to tell the lead
they love them makes it far. He also just had a good 1 on 1 date with her last
week where she met his family. The person in that position is also almost
always guaranteed a hometown.
3.)
Vanessa- She did not get much airtime this week,
but the fact that they still made sure to show her even if it wasn’t with Nick
solidifies that she will make it far.
4.)
Corinne- At this point Nick is making stupid
excuses to keep her. I don’t see that stopping anytime soon.
5.)
Danielle M.- Mainly because she got the group
date rose. I don’t think she comes close to winning though.
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