Another night has passed as well as another episode of
Corinne being the center of attention on the show titled “What the Heck is Nick
Thinking?” I swear the number of plain bad decisions last night was appalling.
Is it really possible that a man who has gone through the process twice before
can really be The Bachelor who seems to be the least considerate of what the
girls are going through? Seriously, I think he beats Juan Pablo for least
considerate Bachelor considering the latter didn’t make out with a girl in
front of everybody. The latter also didn’t encourage a girl he has no interest
in to make a complete fool out of herself on national television, but we will
get to that later.
We start the episode off with the aftermath of Nick sending
Liz home. We get a montage of the girls who were at that group date telling the
girls who were home about the whole story. Because in case the viewer still
doesn’t get it, Nick had sex with Liz. I know. You hadn’t heard it before. It’s
a good thing I have hawk like hearing or no viewer would EVER had known this
happened. Anyway Nick ends up making another big public speech about it and
honestly blows the situation out of proportion. He worries the girls will leave
for no reason. 1.) The producers wouldn’t let them. 2.) A one night stand is
not a big deal. You weren’t in a relationship with her and you didn’t talk to
her past that. Nick probably doesn’t remember more than 5 words they said to
each other that night. Any girl who wants to leave based off of that he should
have counted his lucky stars.
Then
there is a segment with who else but Corinne. The girl breaks out in hives if
the show goes 20 minutes without her on the screen. She talks about wanting
something serious, but then proceeds to have a guy she has known barely a week
in real time lick whip cream off of her boob. Yeah, guys are totally going to
take you seriously now. Those guys in your private messages on social media are
totally looking to bring you home to mom. They aren’t looking for a booty call
at all now….. Also, I bet Nick’s fiancée was totally thrilled to see him
participate. Nick eventually stops it and says it was going too far, but Nick
maybe you should have thought of that BEFORE you licked the top of her boob.
Just a thought.
So the
rose ceremony happens and 3 girls were sent home. Hailey was the cuckoo
Canadian whose intro video including Daniel telling her he’d sleep with her.
Elizabeth W. was utterly unremarkable and Lacey who got more airtime listening
to Corinne vent than she got with Nick. Also, this continues the trend of Nick
being a kissing bandit. He was making out with Lacey episode 2 but sends her
home that rose ceremony. Usually, the Bachelor doesn’t make out with people who
leave the first episodes……Okay, I know I am bias and don’t really like the guy,
I’ll move on.
The week 3 dates start with a date that I would have been
jealous of. A group of girls got to go to a Backstreet Boys concert and dance
with them on stage to Everybody. I’ve read a lot of comments online from people
insinuating that the girls were too young to like the Backstreet Boys. I think
those people are idiots. I am 20 and younger than all of these girls and I knew
of the Backstreet Boys when I was a kid. It may not have been during their
heyday but damn straight I knew the words to Everybody and I want it that way,
if not more songs. My sister who is the average age of a Bachelor contestant
had their CDs and we would listen to them in the car. So yeah Me 1 Dumb
Comments 0.
Anyway as I was saying, I would have been so jealous to be
on this date. Even though I am a horrible dancer, unlike Corinne, I would have
still made the best of the situation. Though I guess the tone was set off on
the wrong foot for her from the start with Nick pushing her off of him when she
jumped on him for a hug. Everyone saw that right? It was glorious. It also adds
proof to my theory that he doesn’t actually like her and just keeps her around
knowing she causes drama. Corinne gets upset because the girls have to learn a “planned
dance” (Corinne’s word for choreography) and whomever does the best and has
chemistry with Nick wins. Danielle L wins and gets to dance and be serenaded
with Nick in front of the other girls. She also gets the group date rose. In
instance 5,402 of what was Nick thinking he starts making out with her in full
view of the other girls. Dude, you do know they did not disappear right? He
would have been pissed if Andi or Kaitlyn had done that to him, but he goes and
does it to his girls. It also irritated
me because it made me sympathize for Corinne for a minute who was upset having
to watch them make out even though she goes on to do the same thing later. But,
he made me sympathize with Corinne for a minute. That is unforgivable Nicholas.
The last interesting thing that came out during this date
was Corinne letting it slip that she has a nanny to the other girls. Apparently
she still needs a person to wake her up, do her laundry, and make her bed, you
know things that my mother had me doing when I was still in high school if not
earlier. Then she admits that she can not make cheese pasta and that she needs
Raquel to make it for her. Cheese pasta?! She can’t make cheese pasta! I don’t
cook and I could make cheese pasta! You put pasta noodles in boiling water and
then add what form of cheese you are using. It’s not rocket science, though I
guess it is to Corinne. Okay, all is right in the world and I am back to no
sympathy. Nicholas, do not do something
stupid and reverse this.
The next date is Nick’s one on one date with Vanessa, which
is another date that looked really fun. They rode on a plane and got to
experience the sensation of zero gravity. Vanessa’s stomach experienced the
sensation further than the rest of her body and caused her to throw up. It gave
the perfect opportunity for Nick to look like a decent human being and comfort
her. I swear this was the only date where I came off liking Nick. Also Vanessa
is perfect, why is she on this show? She has a real job, she isn’t hawking
products on Instagram, and she calls Nick out when he is being stupid. She’s rivaling Raven for my favorite this
season. The two appeared to have tons of chemistry on this date. So much so
that during the dinner portion Nick starts crying because of how optimistic Vanessa
makes him. On the first date. DING DING DING.
I think we have our winner this season. Let me remind you that the least
lead to cry about how grateful he was for a girl was Ben H. about his winner
Lauren B. The seasons done we can all move on, expect the proposal.
Except it’s not and there is still another group date in
this full episode. In all honesty compared to the other dates, this was a letdown.
They had three Olympians come and had the girls do a track competition for more
time with Nick in a hot tub. Rachel was going to win the competition, but
dropped the “ring” that served as the marker of who won. So Astrid picks it up
and wins the extra time. Then in instance 10,504 of what is Nick thinking he
again makes out with her in the hot tub where everyone else can see. Is anybody
noticing a trend here? It also ends up meaning nothing because he gives the
group date rose to Rachel for impressing him. Dominique also ends up being sent
home because she threw a fit about Nick not giving her a fair chance. Which is
probably true, but not something you say to a guy you need to impress.
We end the episode with yet more Corinne drama. She decides
to set up a moon bounce (producers decide to set up a moon bounce) and
basically get on top of Nick and make out. In the front of the house where all
of the girls end up seeing them. In case number 5,000,405,601 of… I think you
can finish that sentence by now. This leads the girls on a rampage to critique Nick
to his face about his encouraging of Corinne. The episode then ends on a
cliffhanger of the amazing Vanessa telling Nick “I don’t judge her. I judge
your actions.” And her saying that if he was going to act like that, she would
rather she did not have a rose. You go girl! Next week we will see Nick try to
squirm out of this situation, but in typical Nick fashion I am sure it will
only last 5 minutes.
Kiss count: Corinne, Danielle L., Vanessa, Astrid, Alexis,
Rachel, Kristina, your mom, her mom, random chick in Asia, basically everybody
in the world = 7,000,000,000
Power Rankings
1.) Vanessa
In all honesty, I think the season is pretty much
over unless she chooses to leave at some point. She is basically the mix of
Andi and Kaitlyn and I already mentioned the significance of Nick crying
earlier. Also, apparently he was still okay making out shortly after she puked.
Which gross, but shows he likes her.
2.) Danielle L.
He seems to be attracted to her. I don’t see a
connection beyond that, but its Nick, so that might not even matter. She also
got the group date rose.
3.) Rachel
Another recipient of the group date rose and he seems
to enjoy talking to her.
4.) Raven
As I’ve said before, the show keeps showing small
moments of her even when they aren’t very significant. That’s a telltale
editing sign that she goes far.
5.) Corinne
Yet again, not because I think he likes her, but
because she will get kept around for drama.
Until next week, I hope everyone
has fun until What the Heck Is Nick Thinking returns next week with an all new
episode.
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