Thursday, October 13, 2016

Survivor 33 Recap "No Stalins Allowed"

  Previously on Survivor, loose lips sunk ships and Paul was sent off the island. The other alpha males in his ritual cult were left blindsided wondering from whom they’d get their next bananas. While that episode’s editing was too easy to tell, this one’s was slightly better. Not because the editors are all that great but because the question of whether or not David would use his idol was in play. It was obvious that Jessica would get the most votes, but not obvious about what that would cause.

  The episode starts with Jessica wanting to explain her actions in voting off Paul. Chris immediately shrugs her off and doesn’t want to hear it. This parallels an almost identical scene last week with Hannah trying to talk to Zeke, except in this case Jessica backed off. Sunday and Lucy start having doubts about their decision because they know they alienated the boys. This starts sowing the problems Jessica will have to face. Lucy proceeds to immediately throw Jessica under the bus to the boys. I’m honestly freaking surprised that this worked. Anyone with brains would’ve challenged her. If you didn’t want to vote out Paul, then why did you? Jessica couldn’t force you to? Chris, the freaking attorney said none of that and I lost all respect. Furthermore, Lucy implies she has David and Ken wrapped around her finger. Yet again, why did the boys not question her when she said that? Second of all, why would you even admit to that? That’s literally asking people to target you. 

  Thankfully, we now switch gears to the less annoying millennial tribe. You heard me. The millennials are less annoying, and it’s not because of my age, but because most of them aren’t making boneheaded decisions currently. Adam goes searching for the immunity idol knowing that he is in trouble in his tribe. Hs lucky and he finds it. Ok, not exactly. He finds a clue to the idol telling him where to go to find it and retrieve it. He starts bawling out of happiness and I feel like this is the same crying he will do when he finally loses his virginity.

  Next, it’s the reward challenge. The task was a revised water edition of flag football. One person gets the ring for a tribe and they basically wrestle with each other until one of the teams is stronger and makes it to their pole. The first team to make it to their pole 3 times wins. The reward was basically a feast of steak and spices. Michaela at one point takes her bikini top off so that she could move easier and I think about how much  happier the male audience would be if Survivor aired on HBO. 

  After the reward challenge, Adam resumes his idol finding hunt. And, he is successful. But, not without a bump in the road in the form of Hannah. As he is trying to open his idol, she screams from the other half of the beach wishing him good luck in finding the idol. I have never seen someone on this show as oblivious as Hannah, and that’s saying something considering what happens at the end of this episode. A.) Why would you want someone not named you to find the idol? B.) You don’t let someone looking for an idol know that you are watching them. C.) You keep the info that you were watching them to yourself until you need to sell them out to your tribe D.) If you see this and don’t ever tell your tribe, you are voted out for being untrustworthy. Hannah isn’t very smart.

  On another note, Adam also reveals that his mom is suffering from stage 4 cancer.  Normally, I wouldn’t bring this up, but I feel like he might get a lot of unnecessary hate for being on this show. People need to keep in mind that he would have been on this show for 39 days maximum. Yes, something bad could happen to her during those days, but there’s a chance it won’t. And that chance is big enough that the possibility of winning a million dollars to help make her last days more comfortable is worth it. So please to the audience of Survivor, be considerate about this before you bash him. It’s obvious the decision is having an emotional impact on him.

  Back at the GenX tribe, Lucy is starting to become a dictator. She went from invisible to Stalin in one episode flat. Problems arise when she tells Ken and David that Jessica is going and she better not see them talking to anyone else. She then threatens them that if they do, they will be isolated from the tribe. Ken doesn’t like being told what to do and is furious. He is convinced that he wants Lucy to go now.

  The immunity challenge begins where the players must go through an obstacle, retrieve bags, and then solve a puzzle. Yet again, the GenXers appear to have the lead, but lose it on the puzzle. You’d think if any of them had ever watched Survivor, they would have practiced puzzles before coming to play. So millennials are safe.

Post Challenge Game Talk
  Lucy and the alpha males plan to blindside Jessica. Lucy yet again emphasizes that Ken and David are in her pocket, but as any survivor fans knows, if they show someone repeating something, it means that it isn’t true. Lucy is making the EXACT same mistakes that just sent Paul home last episode. It’s incredible. Ken, trying to out Lucy, tells Jessica that she is the target this week and Lucy wants her gone. This is where I wanted to throw something at my television screen. Jessica, for some reason, has a hard time believing him. She has a hard time believing the notoriously honest guy in the game who admitted that he talked to her in front of Lucy. Why would he admit to a conversation if what he said in that conversation was false? Yet again, an attorney in this game with little to no skill at assessing situations. I don’t know if this makes me happy or sad that I’ll be a future attorney. Jessica runs off and snitches to Lucy. This starts a game of telephone where Lucy then tells David, who then tells Cece and Ken. This leads to David thinking about if he should play his idol to save Jessica and make sure Lucy goes.

  We then are subjected to even more of Jessica’s lack of skill at tribal council. She admits yet again that she does not trust Ken’s word. She admits this even though Lucy FLAT OUT ADMITS that she had talked to Ken about a plan and never says that Ken lied. Heck, even Ken is so fed up at the person he tried to save that he switches his vote instead of voting out Lucy. 

  You’d think that would be the end of her, but David does decide to use his idol and Lucy is voted off. Jessica lucked out. I still can’t decide whether I like this move David made. I personally wouldn’t have done it. I would’ve saved the idol for myself or for an ally like Ken. But, if a tribe swap wasn’t happening next week it would’ve put him in a solid alliance. I don’t think this move will necessarily bite him in the butt strategically, but it would’ve really helped him if he had kept the idol. This does put him in contention to receive the legacy reward from Jessica if she is eliminated before day 38 though.

  Last note before rankings: for the 2nd week in a row the obvious dictator went home. Future Survivor players, PLEASE LEARN FROM THIS. No one enjoys a dictator, the best way to persuade someone is to make them think the idea is theirs. Forcing an idea on them means they might do it, but they know who to blame and who to resent if it doesn’t work out.

Best Player
David. No one else did much of note, so even though I don’t know about his move, no one else in this episode did anything to deserve it.

Worst Player

 Jessica. I know Lucy was the one who went home, but I’m reluctant to say she was the worst because she would’ve been okay if David had no idol. Jessica was just plain oblivious and horrible at reading people. 

Favorite Player
Ken. 




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