Previously on Survivor, 2 millennial lovers struggled to
keep themselves a secret and waste of space Cece was eliminated. We also had
the presence of two found hidden immunity idols that promise to shake the game
up. Did that happen this episode? Read to find out.
We start off the episode on the orange tribe after coming
back from tribal council. For once in his life, David is not paranoid and knows
that he made the right decision. The
camp then goes in for a Kumbaya montage around the campfire and all seems well.
Zeke even comments that he is now in a better position than ever due to his new
alliance with some Gen Xers. Good for him, but never say those kinds of things
on Survivor. The Survivor gods get angry and will cause you to regret the
statement. Ask Figgy and Taylor after they watch this episode that is if they
aren’t still crying.
Back on the green tribe, we immediately are thrust into the
weekly sob story trying to endear someone to us viewers. Jay starts talking
about how he has always had to take care of his family and he is playing to do
things like buy a new house for his mother. You know where this is going don’t
you? If you guessed he found an idol, ding ding ding, you are a winner! Also,
Survivor rarely shows failed attempts at finding idols anymore, so you know
that if you see them searching, they are going to find it. He takes this time
to celebrate with Will, who for some reason is happy Jay has the idol. Look, I
get Jay is your ally, but if he is searching, you should too. I’d rather
control the idol than have my ally control it. However, celebration is cut
short when Michaela walks in and sees the idol. Thankfully, Jay isn’t stupid
enough to try and lie about the situation so he tells her point blank. This
buys him enough good graces that she won’t sell him out immediately. She’ll
just wait to do it. Small victories I guess.
Next we have the reward challenge, but what’s more important
is what happened before the challenge started. When the orange tribe walked in
and all of the other tribes got to see who was eliminated, Figgy let out a
noticeable sound of relief that Michelle was still there. Figgy, please go home
and learn how to play Survivor. Step 1: Don’t get into a showmance. Step 2: Don’t
reveal who your other closest ally is! It’s not difficult. You basically broadcast
to the entire cast the hierarchy of the old millennial tribe in less than one
minute. No one will ever accuse this girl of having won a Nobel Prize that’s
for sure.
The reward challenge is a favorite every year where the
there is one “caller” who has to direct a bunch of their blindfolded teammates
through obstacles and to solve a puzzle. The callers are Figgy, Michelle, and
Jay. Thankfully, Taylor isn’t calling. I’d be worried that he’d only scream
about how hot Figgy is. Anyway, Figgy blows the puzzle and green and orange are
the tribes to win the reward. During the reward challenge, Hannah starts
feeling faint. I predicted it was dehydration. However, the doctor says she
just got too excited that her body didn’t know how to cope. I don’t know
anything about medicine so I’ll trust the doctor, but I don’t like Hannah and
feel that she probably exaggerated the depths of how bad she felt.
Back on the orange tribe, Zeke has had an epiphany. He
realizes with Figgy’s outburst earlier that Michelle is too close to the other millennials.
He decides he is going to switch sides to the Gen Xers to make sure that she eventually
goes. It’s a smart play and one that I predicted the second Figgy opened her
mouth at the reward. The only person’s game she hasn’t sunk in her alliance at
this point is Jay’s and that’s because he wisely distanced himself from her day
one.
On the purple tribe we are treated yet again to the complete
obliviousness of Figgy and Taylor. They decide that because they “have the
numbers”, even if they only barely have them, they are going to reveal their
relationship to Jessica and Ken. In perhaps the best segment of the episode,
Jessica and Ken flat out mock them because everyone in the whole world already
knew. Ken even goes further in his confessional to say how irritating it is
that Figgy even thought she was doing a good job of hiding it. Right on Ken.
Right on.
The immunity challenge begins shortly after. The players
must race across balance beams, get balls, and maneuver them through a table
maze. The last team to do so will go to tribal council. Purple again starts in
the lead and Figgy again turns out to squander it. People talk about Cece and
David’s bad performances, but they were never the reason their tribe lost two
times in a row. The only other thing of note is tis challenge makes me doubt
that Michaela will win this season. She spent most of the table maze yelling at
Hannah. I get that she was trying to win the competition, but you have to show
more regard for your fellow players. No one wants to vote for a person to win
who was aggressive all of the time. Then Michaela after her tribe has won,
begins to tell Zeke and Michelle of the orange tribe how to win. She says it’s
because purple tribe has a millennial majority so they don’t need to worry. I personally
think it has more to do with her disliking Figgy and Taylor, but I digress. While
it may have helped her personally with the orange tribe, the purple tribe
probably strongly dislikes her.
Before tribal, it is established that Adam is the swing vote
of the purple tribe. Figgy and Taylor are voting out Ken because he is a long
term threat. Ken and Jessica are voting out Figgy because she is manipulating
and they currently need Taylor for challenges. To sum it up, either my Survivor
dreams will be crushed, or I will be freaking ecstatic. Make your decision
wisely Adam. Don’t make me eviscerate you on this blog. I don’t want to, but
you will leave me with no choice.
At tribal council, Figgy and Taylor again proved how
oblivious they are to the game of Survivor. They basically allow Jeff to put
them in the position of having to talk about their relationship during the
entire tribal. No, you don’t allow that. You downplay your relationship. You
say that you like them, but that’s not going to impact who you vote with in the
future. You take the time to kiss Adam’s ass some more because he is the
deciding vote. You emphasize how Ken is such a threat. You don’t let Jeff
monopolize the conversation and talk about having a Survivor wedding. I’m not
saying Ken performed very well either. He could’ve talked about how Adam was a
bottom tier millennial and he needs the Gen Xers to stay around for his game.
But, at this point nothing Ken would say could matter. Figgy and Taylor had
already dug their graves. Taylor even threatened Adam saying that come merge
the millennials will target him if he votes out Figgy. How stupid are you
Taylor? That only gives him MORE of a reason to vote out a millennial number
then. One less millennial is one less millennial that could vote him out.
In a move that surprises no one after that hilariously bad
tribal, Adam votes out Figgy. I do my happy dance and all is right with the
world. The stupidity of the Taylor/Figgy showmance was one of the reasons this
season hasn’t been as good for me, so seeing her leave is a sign of greater
things to come.
Best Player
Adam. He made the right call. Both for me liking him and his
game. (The first is obviously more important)
Worst Player
Figgy. Obliviousness is never a good trait in a player.
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