Survivor 33 Recap "Bye Bye Figgy"

  Previously on Survivor, 2 millennial lovers struggled to keep themselves a secret and waste of space Cece was eliminated. We also had the presence of two found hidden immunity idols that promise to shake the game up. Did that happen this episode? Read to find out.

  We start off the episode on the orange tribe after coming back from tribal council. For once in his life, David is not paranoid and knows that he made the right decision.  The camp then goes in for a Kumbaya montage around the campfire and all seems well. Zeke even comments that he is now in a better position than ever due to his new alliance with some Gen Xers. Good for him, but never say those kinds of things on Survivor. The Survivor gods get angry and will cause you to regret the statement. Ask Figgy and Taylor after they watch this episode that is if they aren’t still crying.

  Back on the green tribe, we immediately are thrust into the weekly sob story trying to endear someone to us viewers. Jay starts talking about how he has always had to take care of his family and he is playing to do things like buy a new house for his mother. You know where this is going don’t you? If you guessed he found an idol, ding ding ding, you are a winner! Also, Survivor rarely shows failed attempts at finding idols anymore, so you know that if you see them searching, they are going to find it. He takes this time to celebrate with Will, who for some reason is happy Jay has the idol. Look, I get Jay is your ally, but if he is searching, you should too. I’d rather control the idol than have my ally control it. However, celebration is cut short when Michaela walks in and sees the idol. Thankfully, Jay isn’t stupid enough to try and lie about the situation so he tells her point blank. This buys him enough good graces that she won’t sell him out immediately. She’ll just wait to do it. Small victories I guess.

  Next we have the reward challenge, but what’s more important is what happened before the challenge started. When the orange tribe walked in and all of the other tribes got to see who was eliminated, Figgy let out a noticeable sound of relief that Michelle was still there. Figgy, please go home and learn how to play Survivor. Step 1: Don’t get into a showmance. Step 2: Don’t reveal who your other closest ally is! It’s not difficult. You basically broadcast to the entire cast the hierarchy of the old millennial tribe in less than one minute. No one will ever accuse this girl of having won a Nobel Prize that’s for sure.

  The reward challenge is a favorite every year where the there is one “caller” who has to direct a bunch of their blindfolded teammates through obstacles and to solve a puzzle. The callers are Figgy, Michelle, and Jay. Thankfully, Taylor isn’t calling. I’d be worried that he’d only scream about how hot Figgy is. Anyway, Figgy blows the puzzle and green and orange are the tribes to win the reward. During the reward challenge, Hannah starts feeling faint. I predicted it was dehydration. However, the doctor says she just got too excited that her body didn’t know how to cope. I don’t know anything about medicine so I’ll trust the doctor, but I don’t like Hannah and feel that she probably exaggerated the depths of how bad she felt. 

  Back on the orange tribe, Zeke has had an epiphany. He realizes with Figgy’s outburst earlier that Michelle is too close to the other millennials. He decides he is going to switch sides to the Gen Xers to make sure that she eventually goes. It’s a smart play and one that I predicted the second Figgy opened her mouth at the reward. The only person’s game she hasn’t sunk in her alliance at this point is Jay’s and that’s because he wisely distanced himself from her day one. 

  On the purple tribe we are treated yet again to the complete obliviousness of Figgy and Taylor. They decide that because they “have the numbers”, even if they only barely have them, they are going to reveal their relationship to Jessica and Ken. In perhaps the best segment of the episode, Jessica and Ken flat out mock them because everyone in the whole world already knew. Ken even goes further in his confessional to say how irritating it is that Figgy even thought she was doing a good job of hiding it. Right on Ken. Right on. 

  The immunity challenge begins shortly after. The players must race across balance beams, get balls, and maneuver them through a table maze. The last team to do so will go to tribal council. Purple again starts in the lead and Figgy again turns out to squander it. People talk about Cece and David’s bad performances, but they were never the reason their tribe lost two times in a row. The only other thing of note is tis challenge makes me doubt that Michaela will win this season. She spent most of the table maze yelling at Hannah. I get that she was trying to win the competition, but you have to show more regard for your fellow players. No one wants to vote for a person to win who was aggressive all of the time. Then Michaela after her tribe has won, begins to tell Zeke and Michelle of the orange tribe how to win. She says it’s because purple tribe has a millennial majority so they don’t need to worry. I personally think it has more to do with her disliking Figgy and Taylor, but I digress. While it may have helped her personally with the orange tribe, the purple tribe probably strongly dislikes her. 

  Before tribal, it is established that Adam is the swing vote of the purple tribe. Figgy and Taylor are voting out Ken because he is a long term threat. Ken and Jessica are voting out Figgy because she is manipulating and they currently need Taylor for challenges. To sum it up, either my Survivor dreams will be crushed, or I will be freaking ecstatic. Make your decision wisely Adam. Don’t make me eviscerate you on this blog. I don’t want to, but you will leave me with no choice.

  At tribal council, Figgy and Taylor again proved how oblivious they are to the game of Survivor. They basically allow Jeff to put them in the position of having to talk about their relationship during the entire tribal. No, you don’t allow that. You downplay your relationship. You say that you like them, but that’s not going to impact who you vote with in the future. You take the time to kiss Adam’s ass some more because he is the deciding vote. You emphasize how Ken is such a threat. You don’t let Jeff monopolize the conversation and talk about having a Survivor wedding. I’m not saying Ken performed very well either. He could’ve talked about how Adam was a bottom tier millennial and he needs the Gen Xers to stay around for his game. But, at this point nothing Ken would say could matter. Figgy and Taylor had already dug their graves. Taylor even threatened Adam saying that come merge the millennials will target him if he votes out Figgy. How stupid are you Taylor? That only gives him MORE of a reason to vote out a millennial number then. One less millennial is one less millennial that could vote him out.

  In a move that surprises no one after that hilariously bad tribal, Adam votes out Figgy. I do my happy dance and all is right with the world. The stupidity of the Taylor/Figgy showmance was one of the reasons this season hasn’t been as good for me, so seeing her leave is a sign of greater things to come. 

Best Player

Adam. He made the right call. Both for me liking him and his game. (The first is obviously more important)

Worst Player

Figgy. Obliviousness is never a good trait in a player.

B&L Recap "The Chads Are Back In Town"

  Let’s just talk about how ironic it is that right before Halloween is the episode featured where Chad returned. All of us normal folks are preparing for the onslaught of “sexy” Trump and Clinton costumes while Bachelor contestants are preparing for an onslaught of Chad. This episodes main theme was scary things. Camping, wedding planning, and Chad were the scariest things the episode presented. If it wanted to scare me the trifecta would be snakes, snakes, and a bald Trump costume. 

  The episode starts with a producer calling Ben and Lauren trying to get them to make a bunch of wedding decisions like flowers, color pallets, and more. Men, this is what females go through every wedding while you guys just get to pick out the beer menu. Feeling stressed out, they decide to take a break and do aerial yoga. It basically just felt like filler until they could get to the Bachelor alum stuff. 

  The couple reveals that they decided to go camping with former bachelor Chris Soules, Grant/Lace, the twins, and Chad “Bear”, the Bachelorette villain. During the trip, Chris kind of acts like a 12 year old boy who has seen boobs for the first time. The twins are how you’d expect the twins to be. Grant and Lace continue to show me reasons why I believe they will be the first Bachelor In Paradise breakup from this season. That, and they show their happy obliviousness to the fact that Chad is coming.

  On the drive there, there is a neat little segment where Ben keeps talking about how Lauren will love camping. This is juxtaposed with the girls deciding that they would rather go “glamping” and stay in a cabin with wifi and their cellphones. I agree with the girls. But, there is tension brewing. Ben knows he will have to tell Grant/Lace that they invited Chad because they didn’t think the couple would show up. Lace mentions how Chad’s whistle thing scaring her foreshadowing her reaction when he comes.

  Once she and Grant find out that Chad is coming, they are pissed. For those of you who don’t know, all 3 of them were on the most recent season of Bachelor In Paradise. First, Grant already had issues with Chad from their season of the Bachelorette. Then, on night one of paradise Chad and Lace hit it off. They were making out everywhere, but also stupidly drunk. Eventually, they end up getting into a blowup drunk fight that culminates in Chad being a jerk and being dismissed from paradise. While the show aired, Chad was pissed that Lace got the “victim” edit when she essentially egged him on the whole night until she decided she didn’t like how people were treating her. To take it further, he took joy in knowing that Grant and Robby were accused of cheating on their girlfriends close to The Bachelorette filming. So Chad thought it would be funny to publicly hookup with each of those girlfriends. That’s the animosity between these three. I find it pathetic that these are adults doing this, but I digress.

  Before his arrival, the boys see a bear and Ben decides to pursue it. Lauren tells Ben that if he goes, he will be sleeping alone or in Chris’s tent. Chris would probably enjoy that more than the twins sleeping with him. Lauren gets a little aggravated that Ben would be stupid enough to follow the bear. I agreed with her. Why be an idiot and chase an animal that could harm you? People will likely call her a nag, but she’s justified in expecting her 27 year old fiancé not to be an idiot.

  The group goes white water rafting and other fun activities until they sit by the campfire. Dun dun dun, the moment we were waiting for arrives. Chad is back. Lace is already crying before he even arrived, so we know crap is about to go down. Girl, are you 12? Get over it. It was months ago. At the very least, don’t cry every 12 seconds showing the emotional maturity of a toddler. My less than a month old niece cries less than her. 

  Because Lace is Lace and Chad is Chad, they go at each other almost immediately. Here’s the thing. Chad is a jerk on a television show. He knows the villain role and plays it up. I won’t deny that. But, when he thinks he is coming for a nice camping trip, and he gets attacked and asked to apologize the second he sits down, that’s going to set any guy off. Especially when it’s coming from people who try to act like they are innocent in the situation. Grant, if you don’t want it none that you cheated on your ex-girlfriend, don’t cheat on her. Lace, stop acting like you had nothing to do with why Chad was so erratic that first night. You egged him on, slapped him, punched him, and laughed when he would aggressively respond. I’m not saying it’s not his fault, he should’ve controlled himself, but she is hardly the person who has a right to tell him that. 

  Anytime Chad would even come close to an apology, Lace would cut him off and keep saying it’s not sincere. Then, to top it all off. Grant had the nerve to bring up Chad’s recently deceased mother. HOW CLASSLESS. You wonder why he antagonizes you when you think that’s a reasonable thing to bring up against somebody? When he said that, Grant knew he would be setting Chad off. He said it anyway. I’m always sympathetic to the villains on these shows because I understand how editing works. But, in this case, I’m even more sympathetic because even if he decided to apologize, he would keep getting pulled back into that persona by other people. He was set up for failure. Chad eventually does get his apology out and decides to leave early so that Grant/Lace can stay. Do they accept the apology? Of course not. They prattle on about how “only time will tell”. See, that’s the phrase I think about when it comes to if these two will last as a couple. 

  So the Chad show ends and we all must go on to the other scary pursuits of our lives. I’m surprised there wasn’t a disclaimer that said no one was harmed in the making of this television episode. Can they say that about the viewers, however? Only time will tell...

Survivor 33 Recap "To Idol or Not To Idol? That Is The Question"

  Previously on Survivor, David used an idol in a big move that everyone is unsure about. This episode that move was erased by a tribal swap. You know what else has been erased? Firefighters. As in the firefighters that were supposed to come to our house this morning and install a new fire alarm for our malfunctioning ones. The firefighters I got up really early for. I’m not bitter at all, but like David, I’m questioning my decision to get up on time. Let’s dive on in to the episode.

  After last tribal’s idol blindside, David is starting to regret his move. He saved a person who essentially no one cared too much about saving. He worries that the damage wasn’t worth the reward. You know who it did reward? Ken. Jessica immediately runs to him crying and apologizes for doubting his honest soul. She then tells him of the legacy advantage that she possesses and that if she were to go, she would give it to him. While Ken is a nice guy, so he won’t abuse this knowledge, I sure would have. You mean I get an advantage if you are voted out? Well, I might just want to get others to vote you out, but keep the betrayal secret and get the reward. Ken, being a better person than me, just sees it as building up trust between them again.

  Since the idol was used, GenX knows another idol can now be found on the beach. This starts the mad rush for a person to be able to find it. David has an advantage in that he already knows that the idol will be hidden into something that has a special symbol on it. I do feel that the producers should have alternated between having a symbol show it, and not having a symbol, because that is a pretty unfair advantage for David to have. However, this idol was in plain sight of Sunday and Cece and they missed it. Therefore, I’m not too mad that David saw it and had to be patient until he could grab it. Damn this boy is lucky.  I’m starting to come around on the little rat.

  Instead of a reward challenge this week, Jeff decides to spring some news on the players. There will be a tribe swap. But, there will be 3 tribes instead of two now. I’m thrilled because there is a chance for Figgy and Taylor to be broken up. I even wrote a song in its honor.

“Figgy and Taylor are broken up

This season now won’t suck

About them, no one gives a ….”

  And then I was cut off by my screams because the two in fact ended up on the same tribe. One note about the tribe swap, the new third tribe instead of having a camp to go back to, has to completely start from scratch again. I find this incredibly unfair even with them being allowed an extra member. They have to waste what little energy they still have building a shelter all over again and starting a fire that the other tribes get to already enjoy. Michaela is rightfully pissed and says she wants to flick Jeff off. I feel you. I feel you. The three tribes now are purple, green, and orange. I know they have tribal names, but they are honestly usually hard to remember and it’s easy to just associate them with their color. On the purple tribe, Ken and Jessica are a pair, Figgy and Taylor are a pair, with Adam in the middle. On the orange tribe, it’s fairly even with no strong alliances. Green also has no strong alliances already there. 

  As they adjust to their new tribes, Brett makes a GenX metaphor. I’m done with that. Then Jay makes a millennial reference. I’m done with that too. Jay is also acting really overconfident which is never a good sign for someone’s longevity in the game. Figgy finally wakes up her brain and realizes that her and Taylor should start downplaying their showmance. Taylor and his friend are very upset. Taylor apparently has never seen a competitive reality show in his life to know that showmances very rarely work out. When they do, it’s because everyone in the season had a pair like BB18, or because people in that season were incredibly stupid. Adam sees this opportunity to cozy up with Ken and keep his options open to flip on his fellow millennials.

  Over on the orange tribe, Zeke and Chris bond over their Oklahoma connection. I think Zeke might have cried finding out Chris was his “idol” that played on the Sooners team. Chris tells Zeke not to worry and that he will turn on the Gen Xers and Cece will go. Cece should’ve gone a long time ago due to her poor challenge performance, but better late than never.

  On to the immunity challenge where each player had to dive to get a buoy, swim it to a platform, repeat that 5 times, and then get those 5 buoys into a basketball hoop contraption. Last tribe to succeed goes to tribal council. Green and Purple win and are safe from tribal. Orange is going to tribal mainly due to David and Cece’s horrendous performances. 

  Chris trying to solidify trust tells David that the plan is to vote out Cece and not one of the millennials. In theory, this is a decent move. It builds trust and gives David a chance to show you loyalty. However, because David has the idol there is always a chance this could blow up. David agrees to the plan. However, Michelle almost screws it all up and proves she’s not as great of a player as everyone thought she was. She doesn’t trust that Cece is the target, goes to try to work with her, and spews that she wants David gone. Sweetheart, when the options are you or Cece, you don’t introduce a 3^rd variable! Furthermore, that 3^rd variable should never be over-paranoid David who is known to screw people over if he feels scared. There’s no way that she hadn’t heard of his paranoia from Chris by then. Of course, Cece rats her out to David and he starts questioning if he should use his idol again. Instead of GenX vs. Millennial, this season really should be called “Idol vs. No Idol”. 

  Yet again at tribal, Michelle presses her luck by explicitly saying David should go home. She says this knowing that she will be voting Cece’s name down. Have you ever watched this show? If you call someone out, you call out the person leaving. Or, in a wiser move, you never mention a person’s name. She’s lucky David decided to prioritize trust with Chris and vote out Cece instead. This was the smart move, he has an idol still, and he is showing that his betrayals are a thing of the past and not a normal occurrence.

Best Player

Yet again, no one made any outstanding plays that warrant them this award. I’d say this was between Chris and David, but I’ll give it to David because he still has an idol. Also, I know he's gotten this a lot. Its really only because he's gone to tribal so often that he gets more screen time for me to evaluate whether he should get best player. Since we don't have live feeds like in Big Brother, that's all I have to go off of.  

Worst Player

Michelle. For the reasons stated above, she has put herself on the bottom of her tribe because if David is in trouble, he can simply use his idol to send her out instead.

Favorite Player

 Ken.  He probably will be my favorite this whole season so I might just get rid of this segment.

B&L Recap "Ben of Thrones"

   Hey guys! Just a heads up, I am going to try to make this blog post shorter than usual. I am suffering from death by two consecutive midterms so my brain is a little fuzzy. My happily ever after will be sleeping in tomorrow. Also, a quick note about the blog format. Recently, I’ve been asked about my feelings on the shows that I watch because I can be critical to the point where it seems like I don’t like them, like last week’s episode. That’s not the case. I wouldn’t write about the show if I didn’t like it, but I still feel like I should point out its downsides such as being overly scripted. I don’t think anyone wants to read roses and sunshine in opinions all of the time, so I don’t confine these blogs just to the good things.

  So we start the episode off with the meal with Jojo and Jordan. As expected, it started off awkward until Jojo broke the ice by basically apologizing for talking about Ben so much on her season. She then makes a fart joke because its on Freeform where the audience is expected to be 12 years old and find that funny. At the end, the group is having fun and the tension is gone. Lauren didn’t even look uncomfortable at all during the dinner which tells me the conflict of the past episode was manufactured. Sorry for doubting you Lauren, those producers are sneaky.

  

  Then Ben and Lauren are basically summoned to a meeting with Chris Harrison where he wants their wedding to be televised. Lauren, like any girl who hears about a free and decadent wedding, wants to do it. Ben is worried because it overwhelms him. He can play it off like he is worried about the wedding not being intimate enough, but let’s be real here. The boy is 26 or 27 is worried about getting married so quickly. Its normal, but obviously that’s not what you can tell your fiancée. Chris mentions wanting the wedding to be soon which makes me wonder if the two didn’t accept the offer, since we know this was filmed in July, and they still aren’t married and we haven’t heard about a TV special yet. 

  Cut to the two of them talking to their family and friends about what to do. Ben talks to some players from the Denver Broncos and sneakily mentions a guilty pleasure Lauren doesn’t know about. Lauren talks to her sister and starts to question Ben’s commitment. Based on the previews, this is a running theme for the season. 

  Either way, when they get home, Ben reveals his guilty pleasure is renaissance faires. *Facepalm* all of this build up for that? That is a normal nerdy fetish. They built it up to be something like he cross-dresses, but it was nothing. The faire itself was fun, but nothing too interesting happened so I’ll skip it. Like I said, midterms made my brain tired.

   Next, Lauren decides to play a prank on Ben. He is going to be throwing out the first pitch at a Colorado Rockies game. She gets the team involved and makes him think that he has to sing the national anthem. This is the kind of scripted stuff I’m okay seeing. It’s planned, but it’s hilarious and seems organic. It was entertaining and didn’t take me out of the episode. The show needs more of this and not the drama stuff. If I want drama, I’ll watch the Presidential debate tonight. AKA I’m not watching the presidential debate tonight. 

  The episode ends with Ben and Lauren deciding that they will televise their wedding. This has me incredibly curious because the timeline Chris implied in the offer made it seem like it should’ve happened by now. But, the wedding hasn’t. I’m interested to see if the timeline changed or if the offer ends up falling through. Tune in for next week when Chad makes his “triumphant” return to villainy to prolong his 15 minutes of fame. Lace also returns to be crazy emotional and prove her and Grant will never last. 

Until then, bye!

Survivor 33 Recap "No Stalins Allowed"

  Previously on Survivor, loose lips sunk ships and Paul was sent off the island. The other alpha males in his ritual cult were left blindsided wondering from whom they’d get their next bananas. While that episode’s editing was too easy to tell, this one’s was slightly better. Not because the editors are all that great but because the question of whether or not David would use his idol was in play. It was obvious that Jessica would get the most votes, but not obvious about what that would cause.

  The episode starts with Jessica wanting to explain her actions in voting off Paul. Chris immediately shrugs her off and doesn’t want to hear it. This parallels an almost identical scene last week with Hannah trying to talk to Zeke, except in this case Jessica backed off. Sunday and Lucy start having doubts about their decision because they know they alienated the boys. This starts sowing the problems Jessica will have to face. Lucy proceeds to immediately throw Jessica under the bus to the boys. I’m honestly freaking surprised that this worked. Anyone with brains would’ve challenged her. If you didn’t want to vote out Paul, then why did you? Jessica couldn’t force you to? Chris, the freaking attorney said none of that and I lost all respect. Furthermore, Lucy implies she has David and Ken wrapped around her finger. Yet again, why did the boys not question her when she said that? Second of all, why would you even admit to that? That’s literally asking people to target you. 

  Thankfully, we now switch gears to the less annoying millennial tribe. You heard me. The millennials are less annoying, and it’s not because of my age, but because most of them aren’t making boneheaded decisions currently. Adam goes searching for the immunity idol knowing that he is in trouble in his tribe. Hs lucky and he finds it. Ok, not exactly. He finds a clue to the idol telling him where to go to find it and retrieve it. He starts bawling out of happiness and I feel like this is the same crying he will do when he finally loses his virginity.

  Next, it’s the reward challenge. The task was a revised water edition of flag football. One person gets the ring for a tribe and they basically wrestle with each other until one of the teams is stronger and makes it to their pole. The first team to make it to their pole 3 times wins. The reward was basically a feast of steak and spices. Michaela at one point takes her bikini top off so that she could move easier and I think about how much  happier the male audience would be if Survivor aired on HBO. 

  After the reward challenge, Adam resumes his idol finding hunt. And, he is successful. But, not without a bump in the road in the form of Hannah. As he is trying to open his idol, she screams from the other half of the beach wishing him good luck in finding the idol. I have never seen someone on this show as oblivious as Hannah, and that’s saying something considering what happens at the end of this episode. A.) Why would you want someone not named you to find the idol? B.) You don’t let someone looking for an idol know that you are watching them. C.) You keep the info that you were watching them to yourself until you need to sell them out to your tribe D.) If you see this and don’t ever tell your tribe, you are voted out for being untrustworthy. Hannah isn’t very smart.

  On another note, Adam also reveals that his mom is suffering from stage 4 cancer.  Normally, I wouldn’t bring this up, but I feel like he might get a lot of unnecessary hate for being on this show. People need to keep in mind that he would have been on this show for 39 days maximum. Yes, something bad could happen to her during those days, but there’s a chance it won’t. And that chance is big enough that the possibility of winning a million dollars to help make her last days more comfortable is worth it. So please to the audience of Survivor, be considerate about this before you bash him. It’s obvious the decision is having an emotional impact on him.

  Back at the GenX tribe, Lucy is starting to become a dictator. She went from invisible to Stalin in one episode flat. Problems arise when she tells Ken and David that Jessica is going and she better not see them talking to anyone else. She then threatens them that if they do, they will be isolated from the tribe. Ken doesn’t like being told what to do and is furious. He is convinced that he wants Lucy to go now.

  The immunity challenge begins where the players must go through an obstacle, retrieve bags, and then solve a puzzle. Yet again, the GenXers appear to have the lead, but lose it on the puzzle. You’d think if any of them had ever watched Survivor, they would have practiced puzzles before coming to play. So millennials are safe.

Post Challenge Game Talk

  Lucy and the alpha males plan to blindside Jessica. Lucy yet again emphasizes that Ken and David are in her pocket, but as any survivor fans knows, if they show someone repeating something, it means that it isn’t true. Lucy is making the EXACT same mistakes that just sent Paul home last episode. It’s incredible. Ken, trying to out Lucy, tells Jessica that she is the target this week and Lucy wants her gone. This is where I wanted to throw something at my television screen. Jessica, for some reason, has a hard time believing him. She has a hard time believing the notoriously honest guy in the game who admitted that he talked to her in front of Lucy. Why would he admit to a conversation if what he said in that conversation was false? Yet again, an attorney in this game with little to no skill at assessing situations. I don’t know if this makes me happy or sad that I’ll be a future attorney. Jessica runs off and snitches to Lucy. This starts a game of telephone where Lucy then tells David, who then tells Cece and Ken. This leads to David thinking about if he should play his idol to save Jessica and make sure Lucy goes.

  We then are subjected to even more of Jessica’s lack of skill at tribal council. She admits yet again that she does not trust Ken’s word. She admits this even though Lucy FLAT OUT ADMITS that she had talked to Ken about a plan and never says that Ken lied. Heck, even Ken is so fed up at the person he tried to save that he switches his vote instead of voting out Lucy. 

  You’d think that would be the end of her, but David does decide to use his idol and Lucy is voted off. Jessica lucked out. I still can’t decide whether I like this move David made. I personally wouldn’t have done it. I would’ve saved the idol for myself or for an ally like Ken. But, if a tribe swap wasn’t happening next week it would’ve put him in a solid alliance. I don’t think this move will necessarily bite him in the butt strategically, but it would’ve really helped him if he had kept the idol. This does put him in contention to receive the legacy reward from Jessica if she is eliminated before day 38 though.

  Last note before rankings: for the 2^nd week in a row the obvious dictator went home. Future Survivor players, PLEASE LEARN FROM THIS. No one enjoys a dictator, the best way to persuade someone is to make them think the idea is theirs. Forcing an idea on them means they might do it, but they know who to blame and who to resent if it doesn’t work out.

Best Player

David. No one else did much of note, so even though I don’t know about his move, no one else in this episode did anything to deserve it.

Worst Player

 Jessica. I know Lucy was the one who went home, but I’m reluctant to say she was the worst because she would’ve been okay if David had no idol. Jessica was just plain oblivious and horrible at reading people. 

Favorite Player

Ken. 

B&L Recap "The Jojo Drinking Game"

  A momentous occurrence has happened in Bachelor Nation. One of the couples received their own reality show. The funny thing is, is it really even their reality show? It just screams like an excuse to have as many past contestants on one show as possible, but they want one couple to be the forefront. In that way, this show came off as an even more scripted unscripted show than The Bachelor, and that is saying a lot. You’ll see what I mean about that as the recap progresses. Also, based on the focus of tonight’s episode, I’ve invented a new drinking game. Every time they mention Jojo, the final 2 contestant on Ben’s season, drink a shot. Or don’t drink a shot. Only a wahoo wouldn’t die during this drinking game.

  So the episode starts in media res at the after the final rose for Jojo’s Bachelorette season, which was in July. At least the show has given us right off the bat when they started filming. Ben and Lauren are fighting over the fact that Lauren doesn’t want to be there because she knows they will be asked about how Ben told Jojo he loved her but proposed to Lauren.

  Then, they flashback to one month earlier in one of the most scripted segments ever. Apparently, I’m supposed to believe that random people, who know they are on camera, randomly will come up to Ben and Lauren and ask about Jojo. Ben reveals that he told Lauren ahead of airing the show that he had told Jojo he was in love with her, but that it still caused issues in their relationship. More of my thoughts on this in a second. Ben also reveals on the drive home that he is scared of clowns because of a dream. I relate. I’m pretty sure I’m scared of snakes because of a nightmare. I wasn’t scared, and then when I was 7 I had a dream that a snake attacked me and killed my family. After that, I’ve been borderline phobic.

   Anyways, back to the show. A producer calls and asks them to go to Jojo’s After the Final Rose. Lauren is adamant against going because she wants all parties to move on. Here’s where I think Ben needs to move on from Lauren. Its been a year, no one cares. It’s Lauren who needs to move on. If she had, she wouldn’t care so much about being around Jojo because Ben chose Lauren, not Jojo. If he wanted Jojo, he’d be with her. Also, at this point with the drinking game, I’d have died for taking 500 shots just by this point of the episode. Furthermore, the most recent engaged couple ALMOST ALWAYS goes to the After the Final Rose, with the final choice having to see their engaged person’s ex. Guess what? None of them cared. Because exes are exes for a reason. Kaitlyn went to Ben’s After the Final Rose and Lauren didn’t care then.  But supposedly it’s different now, even though it was almost a year from when Ben broke up with Jojo. 

  To prepare for their appearance, they watch Jojo’s season for the first time. The only thing I notice is that they make fun of Robby, which earns them points in my book. There is nothing about Robby that doesn’t deserve being made fun of. Also Lauren complains again about Jojo talking about Ben so much in her season. Fair point, it annoyed me as a viewer too, however, yet again only someone incredibly insecure would still care about Jojo’s relationship with Ben when they broke up almost a year ago. 

  In the obviously scripted part of the episode, Lauren has lunch with the twins from Ben’s season of The Bachelor. Within a minute, one of the twins asks Lauren how she is with Ben and shows her a tabloid story.  Was I seriously supposed to buy this? If you were actually friends, you would know that the tabloid story was false. So either they aren’t actually friends, or producers told them to ask Lauren about it to make her upset. Hmm I wonder which one it is……..#NotRealityTv

  There is a segment on how Lauren wants to buy a toilet because the one Ben has was made for cavemen. She talks about how his house has “potential” but it needs to be remade. I keep thinking about how this parallels conversations between my dad and my stepmom. Ben will soon learn that the female is always right, like my dad did. May our old 20 something year old couch rest in peace. If Dad watched this episode, he’d suffer PTSD for sure.

  Then Jojo is told by producers, scratch that, spontaneously decides to call Ben at dinner with Lauren to ask them to go to lunch with her. Lauren is pissed. I’m officially dead from the Jojo Drinking Game. Conveniently *cough cough* Jojo invites them to the meal right when the mariachi band plays so Ben can’t hear what he is agreeing to. If I took a shot at every scripted thing in this show, I’d also die.

  We are now back to the start of the episode, showing the fight between Ben and Lauren at Jojo’s After the Final Rose. I will say that this was an interesting part of the episode. They had seemed stiff and unhappy when I saw the episode in July so it’s interesting to see that it wasn’t over reading body language and that they were upset. 

  The show decides to end on the cliffhanger of Ben and Lauren about to meet Jojo and Jordan for lunch. I know I am just absolutely dying to see what happens next. Not. We know both couples are still together, so it’s anticlimactic. They show us a preview of the upcoming season and shows the return of many Bachelor alumni. Yet again, it’s absolutely forced that there will be an appearance from different contestants in each show. It’s as if they knew Ben and Lauren wouldn’t be interesting on their own. But, if that’s the case, why give them their own show? These are the questions at night that haunt me.

Have a good day and let me know if you want me to keep recapping this show!

Survivor 33 Recap "Long Live The Outsiders"

  Previously on Survivor, the millennials were stupid and lacked the foresight telling them they needed to get rid of a showmance. Paul suffered from counts of being overweight and dehydration. I hated the outcome, but the editing was fairly spot on. This week however, the editing did the viewers a disservice. They spent so much time showing how Cece was going home, that it very quickly became obvious that she WOULDN’T go home. So, it wasn’t a shock when Paul left. What was a shock? Me finding out I got a 100 on an exam I took recently. Talk about expect the unexpected. Yes, I stole that from Big Brother. I am in withdrawal.

  So we start the episode with Zeke being incredibly pissed that he was blindsided about Mari going home. Hannah keeps trying to explain that it is because she didn’t want to be on the losing side. While that logic is right in theory, there was no concrete information that Michelle gave her at trial that should have been enough of a confirmation to her about that. Furthermore, she keeps talking about wanting to rework with Zeke and Adam, but apparently doesn’t realize that she screwed them. Talk about a walking delusional. Zeke, on the other hand, suffered from overconfidence which always bites people in this game. It hurt him and it hurt Paul. During this confrontation, Hannah cries because she can’t take the heat anymore. This is after Zeke has told her 5 times already to leave him alone and talk to him later. It was a reasonable request, he knew he was mad and wouldn’t hear what she had to say clearly. Hannah, being socially oblivious, kept trying to talk, to which Zeke and Adam kept telling her to shut up. It was horrifying to watch someone so socially unskilled try to play the victim when she set herself up for it.

   Back to Gen X: We already know David found an idol and has now allied with CeCe and Ken in their version of an outsiders alliance. The focus they are getting makes me think that as a group these three go far. Unlike Big Brother, since this is already filmed, you can tell who makes enough of an impact fairly early on to predict who makes it far. I predict these three make it. 

    Paul has finished recovering from last week’s health scare and feels great. So great, he is back to his overconfidence. Paul “the fish master” goes out to fish and then ends up with a whopping zero fish. Compare this to Ken, who sleeps and he could catch a fish. Ken brings up the fact that this is just yet another thing Paul claims he will be able to do and then doesn’t follow through. Ken reminds me a lot of old-school survivor plays back before strategy and backstabbing was a huge thing on the show. The way to play then was just being friendly and helping out the most in camp. Ken would fit in well with that type of survivor season, but now millennials play it, and we tend to focus on strategy. Let’s hope Ken ups the strategy to stay around.

  Then the twist is introduced. By a random draw, 4 people from each tribe will be able to go to a “summit” where they will get to know each other. Here is where we get to know the gamers from the waste of spacers. Paul, the latter, just takes the opportunity to hoard a bunch of food and pick on David. David, CeCe, Figgy, and Taylor, however come to play. They start a conversation and share information about how their tribes’ dynamics are. They know that a merge is coming and that forming bonds with people on the other tribe will prove essential in staying safe. I’m not a huge fan of Figgy and Taylor, but I will give them props for taking this time to further their games. I also give props to David for making it very clear to the millennials that he will be a loyal number for them once a swap happens.

   While the summit is occurring, Ken tells Jess that he wants to target Paul  because he feels Paul is the leader. Jess, for her part, isn’t very receptive at first. It isn’t until she talks to Paul later that she starts to worry that she is not on the top of their 6 person alliance. Jess decides to rally Lucy and Sunday and decide whether they should vote out Paul or not if they lose the immunity challenge. Also, welcome Lucy.  I didn't know you were in this game until this episode.

  Back at the millennials camp, the group in power decides Zeke should go. However, dissension is already brewing. Adam begins to convince Michaela and Hannah to join him and Zeke and vote out either Figgy or Taylor. He mentions yet again how tight those two are and how they are in a super tight alliance with Michelle and Jay. Unfortunately, neither of the two girls had a brain last week, so I feel like this plea will fall on deaf ears. 

  Next was the immunity challenge. The survivors had to navigate through an obstacle course, use sandbags to knock down a puzzle, and then reassemble that same puzzle. Millennials win due to some smart strategy sending gen x to tribal council.

Post Challenge Game Talk:

  This is when the episode hit a rough patch. Everyone kept emphasizing how CeCe should go home because she performed miserably at the challenge. David and Ken are the only dissenters. I’ll say it again, when the episode tries to drill in your head that one person is going home, its an obvious clue that the other will be going home.  This leads to a fairly uneventful tribal where no one is letting on that Paul will be the one going home. Paul is voted out and I immediately start thanking the Survivor Gods. I’m not a fan of the overconfident macho tough guy act that some players put on. It was a fairly good move by the girls to get him out now before he and his boys become too powerful.

Best player:

  David. I originally was going to give it to Jessica, but David set himself up so well long-term. He has an idol. His alliance member was saved and a person who despised him is now out of the game. He has millennials on his side ready to work with him once a tribe swap happens in an episode or two. He is set up very well. I predict that he at least makes the merge.

Worst Player:

  Paul. He sealed his own fate at tribal. When Jeff asked about the pecking order of the 6 person alliance, he should have said that it wasn’t clear who was at what position because not enough time had passed or that everyone was currently on equal position. It would’ve been enough for the girls to consider keeping him.